Tattoos Are Forever, Dumbass

The scenario: a dumbass is listening to the local rock radio station in Davenport, Iowa. The disc jockey on the air comes up with a real dumbass promotion. DJ Dumbass says the radio station will pay six figures to anyone who gets the station logo tattooed to his forehead! The dumbass listener, David Winkelman, hauls ass to the local tattoo shop and gets the station logo tattoo on his forehead! But wait, there’s more! Winkelman has a stepson that’s as big a dumbass as he is. Richard Goddard, the stepson dumbass, got the tattoo also! In my capacity as Official Decider of Dumbassery, I have determined that there is a boatload of dumbass in the Winkelman household. But, just when you thought things couldn’t get more bizarre, they do. I mean these guys are putting six pounds of dumbass in a five pound bag. Remember the dumbass DJ who started this whole mess with the promise of a six figure prize to dumbasses like Winkelman and Goddard for getting the station logo tattooed on their foreheads? He was joking! Hardy frakkin’ har har. Do I smell a lawsuit here? Why, yes I do! Winkelman sued the station and eventually the suit was dismissed. Fastforward ten years. Winkelman was recently arrested and his mugshot showed that he still has that damn tatto! What about the radio station  in question? As is wont to happen in the radio business (trust me on this one, folks), they changed formats and call letters! Now, that’s funny! And David Winkelman is still a dumbass.

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