Dumbass Underwear Bomber Is a Dumbass Lawyer, Too

Splodey Dope

There’s an old saying that goes like this: “he who is his own lawyer has a dumbass for a client”, or something like that. This old adage applies doubly to the so-called “Underwear Bomber”, Umar Farouk Abdulmutallab, who from this point on we’ll simply call Umar, or dumbass, as they are interchangeable. You remember this guy, don’t you? He’s the dumbass that tried to blow up an airplane headed for Detroit last Christmas Day with explosives in his Fruit of the Looms! See? I told you that “Umar” and “dumbass” are interchangeable. At a pre-trial hearing Umar chose to represent himself in court. Nothing says dumbass quite like a terrorist who tries to ‘splode a plane with TNT in his draws to get his 72 raisins (or is that virgins?) and then goes on to be his own lawyer in a trial that could end up with him being Leon’s prison bitch for the rest of his life and then on to Hell where he gets cornholed by Satan and his demonic minions for eternity.Slick move, ExLax.

Umar is from Nigeria, the ‘Splodin’ Underwear Capital of the World and a global leader in the exportation of dumbasses. Umar is also a black man and a Muslim. Regarding his race and religion, I don’t care if was a green Amish-Catholic-Baptist, I bring those facts up for a couple of reasons. Where the hell are Jesse Jackson and/or Al Sharpton and/or the Council on American Islamic Relations? Or Johnny Cochran? Oh, wait, Johnny’s in the Big Court Room in the Sky, so scratch him off the list. This guy, Umar, on the surface, is guilty as sin. The guy was caught, er, red handed with his crotch on fire when his bomb failed to ‘splode. All these dumbasses, except CAIR, stood by OJ Simpson and screamed racism when they knew that bastard was guilty as hell. I guess there aren’t enough white guys in Detroit to blame for this blatant bigotry. Heh.

I’d like to wish Umar a nice stay in the Federal lockup where some of the first English words he’ll learn are “You dropped the soap, Umy-poo.” and “squeal like pig, bitch”, or to be more tolerant since Umy-poo is a Moose limb, “squeal like a billy goat”. I forgot pork isn’t halal, or lawful, to Moose limbs. Dumbasses.

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