Dumbass Laws, Part 3

Election Day is only four days away and I wonder how many new dumbass laws will be passed, or if we’re lucky and the potential new majority has any balls, how many dumbass laws, like Obama Care, will be repealed. I am optimistic, but not overly so. We shall see what we shall see, I guess. But, fear not! There are still plenty of dumbass laws on the books to keep even the most die-hard skeptic, like me, amused for years to come. let’s take a look at some of them, shall we?
Hawaii – Arguably the most beautiful state in the Union, has its share of dumbass laws, some of which seem to be contradictory to what actually goes on in the 50th State. For instance, in Hawaii it is illegal to wear swimming trunks in public.  
DN – Good luck with that. There is a bright side to this dumbassery, however. It is not illegal, for women to wear wear dental floss-sized bikinis in public. Thank God for small favors. And I do mean small favors.

Idaho – In Pocatello it’s against the law for “pedestrians and motorists to display frowns, grimaces, scowls, threatening and glowering looks, gloomy and depressed facial appearances, generally all of which reflect unfavorably upon the city’s reputation”.
DN – No frowning or scowling, eh? Hey, dumbasses, it’s Poca freakin’ tello Idaho! Enough said.

Illinois – This one is a doozy. In Chicago, “People who are diseased, maimed, mutilated, or deformed to the point of being “an unsightly or disgusting object” are banned from being out in public.
DN – No wonder Michelle “I am an unsightly or disgusting object” Obama no longer resides in Chi Town. Just sayin’.

Indiana – The Hoosier State is also a bastion of Middle American values. <—-that’s sarcasm. In Gary, Indiana it’s illegal to attend the theatre within four hours of eating garlic.
DN – Two things here. 1) There’s “theatre” in Gary, Indiana? 2) No wonder there are no Eye-Talians in Gary. No garlic. No Eye-talians.

Iowa – State law prohibits establishments from charging admission to see a one armed piano player.
DN – What about a one legged man in an ass kickin’ contest? Just askin’.

The United States is the most powerful and yet most free country in the history of mankind. Just why in the name of all that is holy, do we have such draconian laws still on the books in this great land? Oh, yeah, I know why. Liberals. Enough said.


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