I have been puzzled by something for many years now, and it continues to befuddle me to this very day. How in the name of all that is Holy could one of the most beautiful cities in the world be inhabited by some of the dumbest sons of bitches to ever breathe the air of this planet? A place where the Dumbass is so thick, you could cut it with a block of tofu. I am speaking , of course, of San Francisco. I have been to San Francisco just once and that was to be picked up at the airport, so I didn’t spend any time in the city. But my experience at the airport has scarred me for life. How so?, you ask. This is how so. I had just gotten off the plane and was headed to the Luggage Eater Turbo 5000 to get my suitcase, when one of those golf cart on steroids thingies trying break the sound barrier came zooming by me. The cart was manned by two Oriental guys. No problem…until the souped up golf cart thingy came to a stop and these two young Oriental guys started kissing! Right in the middle of the airport! I mean these two guys were playing some serious Tonsil Hockey. Having seen that, I went to the nearest airport bar and drank several beers to forget what I had just seen. Then I realized that there ain’t enough booze in San Fran to get me drunk enough to unsee that. What I saw can not be unseen! Don’t get me wrong. If these two guys wnated to do the Tonsil Hockey mambo, that’s fine with me. But please don’t do that shit in public! I am telling you this story to lay the groundwork for the main idea of this post: San Francisco is a fucked up city.
Here’s the deal: One of the questions on the recent election ballot in San Francisco was something like “Do you want to ban toys in Happy Meals in our fucked up city?”. What the fuck? You mean to tell me that the local government in San Fransissy has nothing more pressing on their fucked up city’s to do list than to ban toys in Happy Meals? Slap me down and call me Shorty. Has it really come to this, where the city government can ban a frakkin’ toy in a Happy Meal? If I’m Mc Donalds, I’m packing up my Quarter Pounder with Cheese and gettin’ the hell outta there. The reasoning behind this dumbass decision according to HotAir.com: Under the ban agreed in a preliminary vote Tuesday, restaurants in San Francisco would have to provide fruit and vegetables with meals accompanied by free toys, according to the San Francisco Chronicle…” Speaking of fruits…each year in San Frasissy, they hold an event called “Folsom Street Fair”. Sounds innocent enough, doesn’t it? Folsom Street Fair is the furthest thing in the world from innocence. WARNING: What you are about to see is sickening. If you are easily offended, then DO NOT click the following link. Consider yourself warned and proceed at your own risk. Ban the toys in Happy Meals and let this stuff go on unimpeded! This is allowed. Toys in Happy Meals are not.
I’ll bet you a dollar that if McDonalds put a McDildo in their Happy Meals, there would be no complaint whatsoever. Dumbasses.
These are the same people that keep electing dumbasses like Nancy Pelosi to Congress over and over again. For one of the few times in my life, I am speechless. And nauseated. California is a beautiful place with much history and natural beauty. It’s this side (ban the toys and Folsom Street) of California, that people see and remember and that’s very sad to me. Maybe some day…..
**Photo from unionstreetinn.com**