Here I was just sittin’ here having a bowl of chili, minding my own damn business, when I came across one of the most dumbass things I have ever seen. And that’s saying a lot. On these pages, you have frequently seen me bitch and moan about government intrusion into our lives. But, I never, ever I thought I’d live to see the day when the government would stick their dumbass noses into the practice of circumcision. You read that right. Circumcision. And where else could you find such dickheads making dickheads their business but San Francisco? Some dumbass in the City By the Bay is circulating a petition that, with the requisite number of signatures, could be put on the ballot for San Francisco residents vote on next November. Democracy in action, right? Wrong. Dumbass in action is more like it. This initiative, if voted into law, would ban the practice of circumcision(!) in San Fran. I am not making this up. The measure in question would “make it a misdemeanor to circumcise, excise, cut or mutilate the foreskin, testicle or penis of another person who has not attained the age of 18.” The proposal says “….of another person”. Is a do-it-yourself circumcision OK? Just askin’. Those who ignore this would-be law could face up to a $1,000 fine and up to one year in prison. Are. You. Shittin’. Me?
I can just see the protest signs now. “If circumcisions are outlawed, only outlaws will have circumcisions!” “If circumcision is illegal, only back alley circumcisions will be available.” How about this one? “Keep Your Filthy Hands Off My Circumcision!” Here’s a good one: “You Can Have My Foreskin When You Pry It Out Of My Cold Dead Hands!” The possibilities are endless! “Is that a circumcision you have there or are you just glad to see me?” bwahahahahahahaha I’m killin’ myself here! “Leave my stem’s cells alone!” I’ll be here all week.
I’ll keep an eye out on any further developements on this story. I’m sure we haven’t heard the “end” of it.
If you can think of a good one liner for a protest sign regarding this matter, I beg of you to leave it in the comments.
(hat tip to nbcbayarea.com)