Sign Number One That You May Be Drunk: Peeing on a Cop Car

We’ve featured dumbasses of all stripes on this blog over the last couple months, some more dumbass than others. Our dumbasses have ranged from the U.S. Government to my personal favorite, the dumbass who assaulted a police officer with a sex toy. There is no level to which we won’t stoop in order to bring you the
finest (?) in dumbassery.

For instance, today we delve into a bilingual dumbass adventure featuring tinkling on a cop car. Now that’s an outstanding example of Prime Time Dumbassery.

Our story takes place in Johnson City, Tennessee, where Daniel Lopez Cruz was observed by a local cop weaving all over the road in his Chevy Blazer. Now this an exercise in poor judgement, not to mention dumbass, to be driving in such a wreckless manner in Johnson City, Tennessee. Seeing this infraction take place before his very eyes, Officer White Guy performed his duties as a sworn civil servant.

Here’s where the fun begins. when the arresting officer asked Daniel for proof of insurance and his I.D., Daniel thought the cop said, “You gotta pee?” So, Daniel did. He pissed all over the only available facility, except it wasn’t a potty facility, it was a police cruiser! Now this is not the way to endear yourself to the local constabulary.These people, for some dumbass reason, take offense at somebody pissing on their cruiser. Silly cops.

My advice to Daniel would be : a) Don’t drink cheap tequila, b) learn English and c) call a fucking cab! Dumbass. Or to put it so Daniel can understand, pendejo. Comprende, amigo?

Thankfully, nobody was hurt during Daniel’s detour into dumbassery. Daniel, I have one more piece of advice for you should you end up a guest of the State of Tennessee, No te cayo el jabon, or as we say in English, don’t drop the soap. Dumbass.

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