We had such fun with our first edition of Dumbass Newspaper Headlines that I thought an encore would be a hoot also. Remember, these are actual newspaper headlines. They are so stupid that you gotta wonder if the dumbasses that wrote them were smokin’ some good shit or not. I vote “smokin’ good shit”. Nobody sober could be that big of a dumbass. Then again, we are talking about newspaper people, so being that big a dumbass is very possible, even likely. So let’s see what those stoned dumbasses have for us today.
Headline – “Miners Refuse to Work After Death”
DN – After digging a hole in the Earth several thousand feet deep, it’s only fair to the miners that upon death, somebody else dig a hole six feet deep for them. Just sayin’.
Headline – “War Dims Hope for Peace”
DN – No shit. If there were no wars would the headline read “Peace Dims Hope for War”? Prolly not.
Headline – “If Strike Doesn’t End Quickly, It May Last a While”
DN – Just think. Somebody’s parents paid good money for a college education for the dumbass who wrote this headline. Says something about our colleges today, doesn’t it?
Headline – “Cool Wave Linked to Temperatures”
DN – My question is this: is a heat wave linked to temperatures, too? Dumbass.
Headline – “New Study of Obesity Looks for Larger Test Group”
DN – I got nothin’.
Headline – “Local High School Drop Outs Cut in Half”
DN – You should see the punishment for playing hooky. yyyyyeeeeeeeeeooooooooowwwwwww
Headline – “Hospital Sued by 7 Foot Doctors”
DN – Wait till the midgets get a load of this.
That’s it for this go ’round of Dumbass Newspaper Headlines. I’ll get my Google Fu limbered up and ready for action so I can find some more of this stuff for other times. And you weren’t particularly enlightened by our post today, send all your hate mail to my Mother. She sent me this
(hat tip to my Mom)