Dumbass Pays $50,000 to NOT Rid House of Bees!

Mario should have called this guy

Since Christmas is over and things have returned to almost normal, we here at Dumbass News have returned to being our normal dumbass selves, searching the internet for stories only a true dumbass could make possible. And we are never disappointed.

Take this dumbass in Lake Worth, Florida, for example. His name is Mario. Our man Mario had a bee problem at his home in Lake Worth. Mario, being the dumbass and cheap bastard that he is, just knew he could rid his home of these pesky bees. Instead, Mario rid the pesky bees of his house! Who’d a thunk that? Let me splain.

Mario had this bee problem at his house and instead of calling in a professional bee guy to take care of the situation, Mario decided only a dumbass could not get the problem solved. So, Mario creates his own dumbass version of a bee guy’s smoke thingy and goes after the bees which were in a supporting column on a second story balcony. Things were going swimmingly. Then the fire started. And it kept burning. And burning. And burning, until there was over 50 thousand dollars worth of damage to his home! But because Mario is a dumbass, the Fickle Finger of Fate (thanks, Laugh In) pointed squarely at him. Not only did Mario El Dumbass-o do 50G’s worth of damage to his house, the ensuing fire did not rid the house of the bees! I don’t care who you are, except for Mario and perhaps Mrs. Mario, that right there is too damn funny. I just pray that Mario had his Dumbass Insurance paid up.

This incident brings to mind what would Mario have done if he had had mice instead of bees? He would have probably bought a cat….like a lion. Dumbass.

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