Today is Friday! And Friday always means good things! Let’s celebrate TGIF with a Special Edition of Dumbass News! Yes! And by Special Edition I mean that dumbasses are 2 for 1 today! A double dose of dumbass always makes a day twice the fun and we get to make fun of and belittle twice as many people! That always makes me feel better! Maybe I should belittle myself today becuase I just wrote six sentences in a row that ended in exclamation points (!). That’s gotta be some sort of Dumbass Record! But, I digress.
Our dumbasses today come to us from Sweden, Land of Fjords and Chjevys. Sweden is a beautiful country with lots of blond haired people with blue eyes and lots of dumbasses. For instance, a pilot for the Scandinavian Airlines System Group was piloting an aircraft bound for Stockholm from Copenhagen, when the co-pilot got up to heed Nature’s Call. upon returning to the cockpit, the co-pilot buzzed the Captain so he could get back to doing his co-piloting duties. No answer. He buzzed again. Still no answer. Finally, after several buzzings the pilot unlocked the cockpit door to let the co-pilot back in. When queried as to why it took so long to answer the repeated buzzings, the Captain said, “Ho wofhwNuakde[p fcapHnc” which is Swedish for “I am a dumbass and I was taking a nap while you went to piss, you fucking moron!” To which the stunned co-pilot replied, “pohfeo hmasd?” which when translated to English means, “No shit?” Fortunately the plane was on Auto-pilot while the tinkling and the napping were going on and the aircraft eventually landed safdely in Stockholm. As they say on those stupid TV commercials when you buy something valued at $300 for only $19.99 plus shipping and handling, But, wait! There’s more!
The pilot going to sleep at the controls of a jet airliner full of passengers was duly reported to the Aviation authorities in Sweden, who reacted with a resounding yawn. They decided not to to punish the pilot for this travesty by saying (I ain’t makinf this up) that he (the pilot) was tired because he only got four hours of sleep the night before. What. The. Hell? At this point I usually point out what a load of dumbasses run the Swedish airline industry, which they are and they do. How can these people sleep at night? Fucking pasty skinned pussies. This event goes beyond dumbassery and wanders into negligence of the worst possible kind. Do these dumbasses not understand that hundreds of innocent people could have died because pilot had a rough night’s sleep the night before? I’ve got something to say about that, “Tpowgn lof uszpi jf;paaqfjffv!” Translated from Swedish that means , “Fuck you and the reindeer you rode in on you piece of Scandi dog shit.”And one more thing, “Ou;w gdszghh” which means….Dumbasses.