Dumbass Steals Meat, Gets Burned

Stolen?

The Dumbass Capital of the USA is at it again. No, not Washington, DC, but Californee. The setup to the story is really nothing out of the ordinary. A dumbass goes into a bar to look for people to buy his wares. I have been in bars where young ladies come in selling roses, men and women come in the hope of selling some fake ass jewelry, raffle tickets, all kinds of shit. Anyway, our dumbass goes into a bar because he’s got some meat for sale. Stolen meat from a local grocery store! Go figger. So, being a good dumbass, he walks up to a couple of guys having a beer and asks them if want  a good deal on some meat. They reply, “Sure!” Little did our dumbass know that he was trying to sell this stolen meat to a couple of guys who work for the grocery store from which the meat is stolen! bwahahahahahaha  The meat thief’s goose (not stolen) is cooked.

The crook obviously didn’t know that the two guys he was trying to sell stolen meat to were store employees, but he was too damn stoopid to, oh, I don’t know, sell the meat on the other side of town! I mean seriously. What the dumbass did was like stealing a car from the guy across the street and then driving through the same neighborhood to show it off. Another thing….how in the hell did the guy steal a bunch of meat from a grocery and get away with it? It can’t be easy to hide a rump roast in your Jockey shorts and simply walk out of the store with it. How many trips did this guy make in and out the store in order to get enough meat to sell? Dumbasses demand answers!

We’re probably into the area of Felony Stolen Meat here, so our dumbass will likely spends some time in the Big House, where he will learn a lot more about meat than he ever wanted to know, if you know what I mean and I think you do. Dumbass.

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