|Dumbass Drunk Driver|
Our Dumbass of the Day today deserves all the scorn and ridicule that can be heaped upon her. She is a hypocrite and the type of person who can judge you and how you live, then criticize the hell out of you without a moment’s hesitation. Now it’s her turn to be on the receiving end of what she usually dishes out. Let me splain.
Her name is Debra Oberlin. Deb the Dumbass is the former president of the Gainesville, Florida Chapter of MADD (Mothers Against Drunk Driving). Deb was recently arrested. Guess what she was busted for. Wait. For. It. Drunk driving!!! Yep, Deb was plastered when she was behind the wheel of an automobile driving like, well, a drunk. On the old Dumbass Drunk Driving Breathalyzer Thing, Deb blew a .234 and a .239. The threshold for drunk driving in Florida is .08. At .234 and .239, Deb was in FUBAR* territory. Deb the former MADD chapter president is now Deb the Dumbass Drunk Driver. The president of the Gainesville, Florida DAMM (Drunks Against Mad Mothers) was unavailable for comment.
Look, I know we all do stoopid shit that we wish we could re-do the right way, myself included. hell, I could write a book called “Stoopid Shit I’ve Done”. It would have to a series of books though, because I have done plenty of stoopid shit. But, with all the stoopid shit I’ve done, not one time was it because I am a hypocritical know-it-all, like Deb is. As a Proessional Dumbass Who Has Done Way Too Much Stoopid Shit, my advice to Deb is to think twice before judging somebody because now they have the ammo to fire right back at your sorry ass. One more thing before I go, Deb, Fuck you. You were lucky that you didn’t kill an innocent person because you chose to get hammered and drive a car while inebriated. Count your blessings and lay off the hooch while driving. Dumbass.