Of Homeless Dumbasses and Stenographers

I have a soft spot in my heart for homeless people. Why? It will certainly surprise many people who have known me for damn near 40 years, that at one time I was homeless also. in Wisconsin. In the winter. It was not fun. (It’s a long, personal story, so please don’t ask). I do not, however, have a soft spot for homeless people who are thieves. Fuck those dumbasses. I made it through my ordeal without stealing a damn thing, so I have no use for those who do. Again, fuck ’em. Take, for instance this dumbass in Philadelphia named Rica Hughes.

Our man Rica was homeless in Philly and he needed money, so he went out and stole a couple of stenograph machines from City Hall! It’s not like they have surveillance cameras at Philadelphia City Hall or anything. Dumbass. Each of these stenograph machines is worth about 5 large. That’s $10,000 worth of dumbass, folks. One would expect at this point that Rica, which is a pussy name anyway, would pawn them or try to sell them to another dumbass for some cheap beer or MD 20/20 money. Rica, the dumbass with the girly name, took the machines to a social worker and left them with him/her. An act of contrition? Maybe. An act of dumbass? Definitely. Although he turned the machines back in, he kept the case one of them came in as a homeless guy suitcase!

I have good news to report about Rica. He is no longer homeless! He was busted and has found a nice cozy cell in the Philadelphia City Jail facing a couple of felony charges that will keep him housed for years to come. Without stenographers. Dumbass.

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