The University of Texas. I love it. I will be a Longhorn till the day the Good Lord calls me home. (which is no time soon, I hope) There’s not much I wouldn’t do to show my support for them. Paint myself burnt orange and white for a game? Sure. Wear those foam longhorns on my head. No problem. When I die have my open coffin placed oin the field while the Show Band of the Southwest does a halftime program? Are you fucking crazy?
I bring this up because a fellow in Ohio was the “i” in the word “Ohio” when the band formed the word on the field. As far as I can tell, this was not during a game. The Dead Buckeye was such an Ohio State University fan that he was the “i” in that formation. Attendance figures were not available. Heh. However, the Horseshoe, the OSU football stadium, holds about 105,000 insane Buckeye fans. I have been there, I know this. Dotting the “i” in “Ohio” is quite an honor to OSU supporters, but I have found nothing that says a dead guy in an open casket has been the “i” before. I hate to speak ill of the dearly departed, but this guy was eat up with the dumbass before he died. It’s a common ailment among Ohio State fans. Remember, I have been to a game there, where by the way it’s $3 for a 20 oz. Sprite as of a few years ago. Dumbasses. Maybe I should be the dumbass because I paid the three bucks for a 20 oz.soda. With no liquor in it! Back to the dead guy. Couldn’t he left a contribution to the school’s scholarship fund? say, like a $1.86? Or $3 so some poor kid could buy a 20 oz. soda?
Now that I have insulted millions of Buckeye fans around the world, I am not looking for an invitation to tour Columbus any time soon. Although a trip to Cleveland might be cool. bwahahahahahaha I kill me. But when I die I will not have my ashes put in Bevo’s (UT Longhorn bull mascot) hay so he can poop me in the South end zone of Darrel K. Royal-Memrorial Stadium in Austin. I would not mind whatsoever having my ashes scattered all over the female UT cheerleaders. Plus I’ll leave my $1.86 to the UT scholarship fund so some poor UTexas student can purchase a 1/2 price margarita at some sleazy joint on 6th street. That’s just how I roll.