Robbed While Buying Pot, Dumbass Calls Police!

Dumbass Lettuce

I have written before on these very pages about dumbasses and drugs. I wrote about a couple of dumbasses who lost $425,000 worth of pot. Not to mention the idiot who was busted for pot possession and told the cops “This is how I make my money”. There is more of the same Dumbass Modus Operandi in the archives, but after reading these two stories, you’ll get the picture that dumbasses and drugs don’t make a very good combination.

There is this Honest to Goodness bona fide dumbass in Charleston, West Virignia who recently went to a seedy neighborhood looking to buy some pot. That alone is worth a Dumbass News mention. But this gets better! The weed-buying dumbass was on top of his game on the night in question. He  was robbed ( no shit!?) while making his purchase and all of the sudden he became a concerned citizen, so he called the Police! Now, I don’t know about you, but if I were making an illicit drug buy and something went wrong, the Police are the last people on my “To Call” list. I’m thinking that the victim would chalk it up as a dumbass, but learning, experience and go on about his life poorer but wiser. But nooooooooooooooo, this dipshit calls the cops.

But wait, there’s more! After the cops arrive to help this guy out, he tells them he has decided to not press charges against the robber! Are. You. Kidding. Me? The people of Charleston, WV must come up with a plan to get a more suitable type of dumbass into their city. This dickweed, whose name is Jeremy Stalnaker needs to be sent to Dumbass Hell or California (whichever is cheaper) for being not only a someone who will some day father little dumbasses who will be members the C-town community, but, in general, is a blight on honest dumbasses everywhere. I propose here and now that we start a Bus to Callifornia Fund for Jeremy Stalnaker. Hit the donate to PayPal button in the right sidebar and I’ll make sure that Jeremy Stalnaker receives his One-way ticket to the West Coast, where he’ll fit in nicely with the Granola Crowd out there.

In the meantime, keep those donations rolling in and I’ll take good care of them for you. I will personally drive to Charleston and hand deliver Jeremy Stalnaker’s bus ticket to him. The fine citizens of Charleston, West Virginia must rise up and meet this Dumbass Challenge! Until such time as I can hand-deliver Jeremy Stalnaker’s one-way bus ticket to LaLa Land, Jeremy deserves nothing short of ridicule and scorn, along with a trustworthy pot supplier, until the Greyhound leaves the station westward bound. Help the brother out.

Dumbass.

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