As summertime comes to its inevitable close, time for outdoor activities such as fishing, camping and nude sunbathing is also quickly fading away for another year. However(!), there is one thing that does not depend on the weather in order to be enjoyed – picnics. But, Toby, you say, how can you logically expect to enjoy a picnic when the cool weather of fall turns into the annual deep freeze of winter? Thanks to a dumbass in Florida, I have the perfect answer to that question. The WalMart bathroom! Yes, fellow dumbasses, your neighborhood WalMart toilet provides you and your family the perfect setting to spend quality time together even during the harshest weather.
Alas, I must give credit where credit is due for this
outstanding dumbass idea. The Picnic in the Pooper idea comes from a Florida dumbass named Taylor Dresia of Vero Beach. You see, Taylor was eating lunch in the bathroom of the local Wally World when a walMart employee discivered him, and obviously jealous that he wasn’t the one who originated this mental masterpiece, demanded that Taylor vacate the head and vamoos ASAP. The dumbass employee, in a jealous rage, said that Taylor was blocking the stall so other patrons could not use the facilities. Likely story! Ha! The reality of the situation is that the WalMart worker is too fucking stoopid to understand that Taylor has come up with a million dollar idea. Can you say snack bar in the bathroom lobby? No wonder the typical WalMart dumbass makes minimum wage. Dipshits.
I am, of course, just kidding here. What kind of dumbass wants to eat lunch in a bathroom??!! You might as well take a dump in the dining area of Taco Bell and scarf down a few bean burritos right next to the steaming pile of dookie. Taylor Dresia, you are a mental midget and a sick bastard who needs to be institutionalized – in Picnic Free Zone… and a padded cell.