|Small Bait for Small Fish|
Dumbasses are, unfortunately, to be found everywhere on the Big Blue Marble, including, sadly, my favorite activity, fishing. If you are a fisherman like me, you are all too familiar with these dickweeds – the ones who zoom by in there $25,000 bass boats creating a wake and a jet engine level noise that really pisses off serious fisherman like me (Fish. Fear. Me.) These goobers have no sense of common courtesy or fishing etiquette. I loathe these morons. There are, however, other kinds of dumbasses that can ruin a good fishin’ trip without making a sound. Let me splain.
In Spokane, Washington, land of Fruits, Nuts, Transplanted Californians (but I repeat myself) and pot heads, one guy recently created quite a stir not by driving his fancy bass boat but by fishing in the nude. Other fishermen and outdoors enthusiasts were not amused. Dean the Nekkid Guy was showing his “nightcrawler” for all to see when he was reported to the police. Why Dean the Nekkid Guy was doing this isn’t clear, but witnesses confirmed that Dean wasn’t exactly “fishing for lunkers”, if you know what I mean and I think you do. The only thing this dumbass caught was a felony charge of indecent exposure. Dean racked up a felony accusation because this wasn’t his first time at showing his “tackle box” in public. No shit?! Dean had already accrued previous charges of stalking and indecent exposure, so Felonyville it was for this dipshit. Bill Dance this guy ain’t.
My advice to any other dope smoking freak is to keep your “crankbait” in your “tackle box” while in public. You never know when the cops will handcuff you and your “rod’ and throw your sorry ass into the Crossbar Marina. Even though lack of sufficient evidence may come into play.