The Three Ds: Dumbass, Disabled and Donate

You Can NEVER Un-see This

Where the hell has 2011 gone? This is the last weekend before Thanksgiving already. Damn. That means it’s about time to start thinking about the Dumbass of the Year for Dos Mil y Once. A little Meskin lingo there. Who says that dumbasses can’t be “cultured”? Don’t answer that question!

As a matter of fact, I just happen to have a few examples of Dumbass Culture right here! See the shit works out right. It has been a wacked out week not only for Dumbass News, but for your cute and cuddly Head Dumbass as well. I learned a few days ago that I am no longer able to be a productive member of society. As if I ever was a productive member of society. Ha! My doctor is a dumbass. He thought by telling me that I am medically unable to work anymore that I would no longer be a blight on civilization. Did I fool him or what? As long as I can type I will continue to be a Blight of the Highest Order on Civilization! bwahahahahahaha!! Boy, did I ever fool him.

Proof

To prove my point, I have gone back through the Dumbass News archives and come up with written proof that I am as big a pain in the ass to “polite society” (whatever the hell that is) as I have ever been! 

Serious Societal Blight  

  • Earlier this week, I came up with an ingenious Plan to End the War on Terror. Let me Warn You that this post is extremely crude and juvenile, as always, but even moreso than your “normal” crude and juvenile. It is NSFW or Kids! Heed those words or try to wiggle your way out of explaining to your six year old why terrorists like to have “relations” with donkeys. I’m just sayin’.
  • Man Has No Toilet Paper… Talk about a chapped ass. This dumbass has no TP in his motel room and he proceeds to go absolutely batshit crazy, doing over $2000 damage to the room. I wonder what he would’ve done if the motel staff forgot to put a little mint on his pillow. I shiver at the thought.
  • USF-Polytechnic This is a touching story of how university officials waste thousands of dollars on Star Wars statues instead of some more worthy academic venture – like free porn for all the fraternities on campus. Just imagine all the poor deprived biology majors who will be affected by this travesty! 

That’s what the week was like here at the Dumbass Dome. It could have been worse, but it could have been better if some of you dumbasses would hit the “Donate” button at the top of the right sidebar.  Do it for the students at USFP1 Do it for the guy who needs some toilet paper! But most of all, do it for your friendly disabled neighborhood blogging dumbass. My Mama will thank you for it.  🙂

Dumbasses.

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