No Matter How You Slice It, This Chick is a Dumbass

Try Our New Felony Loaf!

Over the past fourteen plus months, I have written about some real dumbass stuff on these very pages. And when I say dumbass, I mean stories about people with the I.Q. of a spitwad. These spitwads include the guy who was stranded on an island for five days just offshore in California before even trying to use his cell phone! This has been one of the most popular posts since I started the blog. This fact leads me to believe that many of you have been through a similar experience only you didn’t use you cell phone to call for help, you sent smoke signals…..from a joint. Sheesh.Then there was the one about the guy who was “short-changed” by a hooker, so he sued her! What of value he get from a hooker? Stilletos? STDs? What the hell ever, let’s move on.

Our little adventure into Dumbass World today takes us again to the Sunshine State of Florida, where a dumbass broad goes ape shit over toast.

Gettin’ Toasted

Maria Acevedo, our Dumbass of the Day, came home one afternoon to find her sixteen year old sister using her (Maria’s) bread to GASP! toast! I swear, young people today, what won’t they do? Maria took exception to this event and scolded her younger sibling with great vigor and excitement. And by “scolding with great vigor and excitement” I mean Maria beat the dawg shit out if her sister. See? Maria was very excited. Here’ where the “great vigor” part comes into play. Maria vigorously pounded the sister with a six inch metal frying pan about the head and shoulders and the upper extremities of her body. And as if that wasn’t vigorous enough, Maria also pulled her sister’s hair and smashed her skull against the floor. And all this “vigor” took place after the sister apologized! Arrest and incarceration ensued.

What I Think 

Maria, Maria, Maria. Just what are we gonna do with you, young lady? There are several issues concerning this incident that I’d like to address. 1) It’s not a very smart thing to do to beat the snot out of a minor, especially when you are of the majority age. Can you say “felony”? 2) My “assaulting a minor” to Maria is: NEVER and I mean NEVER use a frying pan to try and crack a young person’s skull. This, too, is known as a felony. 3) One last thing, Maria…sell some of that crack you’ve been smoking and soon you’ll have enough cash flow to buy a whole damn bread truck.

You’re welcome.

Dumbass.

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