|Delivering the Goods|
Dear Dumbass Horde,
I have another round of medical stuff to do today, so I’ll be out town for much of this fine Wednesday. Ever vigilant, I drew from the vast resources of the closet in the Dumbass Mobile Home, and found this wonderful story of compassion for one’s fellow man – or in this case, woman. Observe to what lengths our civil servants will go in order to please the people who pay their salaries.
Have you done something on a dare? Probably so, because we all have at one time or another. I would go so far as to say that the dares we followed through on were silly things that were basically harmless. But! some people are just too much of a dumbass to stay on the harmless side of things. Take for instance, a postman in Whitefish, Wisconsin. This guy is a dumbass. Let me splain.
The dumbass postman in our story today was very concerned about a lady who worked at one of the places he delivered mail to. The lady was down in the dumps about something and the dumbass mail guy wanted to cheer her up. And what a better way to cheer up a forlorn young lady than to deliver her company’s mail in the nude! The mail guy offered to do so, as a public service of course, and the sad young lady replied, I double dawg dare ya, you putz.” So, a short time later, the postman showed up nekkid as a jay bird, with his “male bag of goodies” (pun intended) and his “candy cane” full of holiday wishes, if you know what I mean and I think you do. After being arrested, the cops asked him why he did such a dumbass thing, the mail guy said that he wanted to make the sad lady smile. I hear that everyone who worked with the formerly sad lady had a large laugh at such a small package. The boys back at the Post Office, however, failed to see things the dumbass’s way, so he was fired from his job. Oh, the lady that was sad at one time said she did nothing to encourage such dumbass behavior from the mail guy. She was looking for something in Parcel Post and all she got was General Delivery.
I feel kinda bad for this particular dumbass losing his job and all just before Christmas. This whole sordid affair does have a happy ending though. The mail guy was never put on trial. The prosecutor said that there was insufficient evidence to stand up in court.