|But don’t keep ’em in your back yard.|
You know it’s a slow dumbass news day when you are relegated to writing about some asswipe who keeps enough chickens in his back yard to be a supplier to Tyson Foods. How’s that a problem? Good question. And I have a good answer; a couple of good answers actually. Answer 1: It’s against the law in his town, Hollywood, Florida, to keep poultry in your back yard. Answer 2: The dude is a First Class Asshole who thinks that yard birds are “domestic pets”. The city gubmint disagreed.
The City Gubmint Takes Action – BIG Action
The city had warned the guy, Steve Kohn, that he had to get rid of the chickens or face a fine. He kept the birds arguing, as I mentioned above, that they were “domestic pets”. The city didn’t buy that steaming load and fined Ole Stevie $100 with $250 daily fines to follow. The fines followed. Oh, boy did they follow! they followed all the way up to $200,000! Kohn went back to court recently and the judge in the case ordered the fine reduced to the original $100 saying that city code allowed no more than $100 fine for the offense.
A city spokesweenie explained that even though Kohn wanted the chickens as domestic pets, they were still poultry and still against city code.
Now you think that having fine reduced from 200 large to a c-note would make Steve a happy guy. Right? Wrong.
Why Steve Kohn of Hollywood, Florida is a Dumbass
The following statement is something that I never would have even thought of had it not been in the original story. These are the exact words from that article: “Kohn, an orthodox Jew with Moroccan and Syrian heritage, said he believes the city targeted him because of his Middle Eastern ancestry.
“This has nothing at all to do with chickens,” Kohn said. They don’t want me and my kind here.” End quote.
I have a problem with that.
My Problem With It
I am fairly confident that the city code of Hollywood, Florida regarding the keeping of poultry in the city limits does not include a provision of any kind that says Jews of Morrocan-Syrian heritage are to be singled out with regard to this ordinance. I’m just sayin’.
The city code, I’m sure, does not even include any mention of fining some dickweed because he’s dumbass. if it did, it would be called ‘The Steve Kohn I’m a Jew of Morrocan-Syrian Heritage and the City of Hollywood, Florida Hates Hebs” Clause. I am also pretty sure that Steve isn’t the only Jew living in Hollywood, Florida. he’s just the only butthurt Jew living in Hollywood, Florida. I am also go out on a limb here and guess that Steve Kohn, Butthurt Jew, is the only person of the Jewish persuasion who was keeping seventeen chickens in his back yard. But I could be wrong. coughbullshitcough
Steve, let me explain something to you. Nobody is singling you out because you are a Jew of Morrocan-Syrian extraction, they are singling you out because, how can I say this nicely, you broke the fucking law! It’s that simple, Captain Butthurt.
Another thing, if you stay within the structure of the law, whether you are Jewish, Catholic, Baptist or Holy Roller, you have absolutely no worries about being “singled out” or worrying about people not wanting “your kind” around. On the other hand, people would be idiots wanting “your kind” around. “Your kind” meaning a loudmouth asshole who thinks he’s above the law. Your neighbors don’t want “your kind” around not because of your ancestry, but because you were trying to make your neighborhood into Green Acres contradictory to city code! Google Green Acres, Steve, I ain’t gonna spell it out for you.
One last thing, meshuga. <—-a little Yiddish lingo there. Please don’t start keeping goats in your back yard. we know what you Morrocan-Syrians like to do to them. You wanted someone who doesn’t want “your kind” around? That would be me. fuck off you prick.
I am sure that those towers of tolerance in Morocco or Syria would let you raise all the chickens in your back yard you want to. I’ll start a fund to get you over there if you’d like me to. I’ve been told that the Syrians just love the people of your faith. Tell them shalom for me when you get there.