Anyway, the point is that with all these new people stopping by the place, thus killing a few million brain cells, I have an obligation to keep them as satisfied customers. You know what I mean, throw ’em a bone. Feed ’em and they come back. Like a stray puppy. Or a homeless Dumbass.
Best of Dumbass News: This blog is getting new readers every day,. Literally. OK, maybe they’re not “readers” per se, but at least they look at the pictures I post. But you gotta remember, they are Dumbasses and they can’t help themselves. Kind of like YOU!
On Day 5 of his “three hour tour”, Goat Man got hungry enough to call his cousin who then notified the authorities. In a rare moment of lucidity after his rescue, Goat Man said, “I was embarrassed to be stranded on an island,” Hopper said. “I thought I could fix my boat and make it to land … I didn’t want to spend the taxpayers’ money to have the Coast Guard come rescue some stupid guy.” Hammer meet head of nail. Goat Man also had this to say, Hopper said he now admits he should have called 911 in the first place. “It was the right thing to do,” he said. Ya think?
Thank goodness, Goat Man is alive and well, but I have another question. What if Goat Man were stranded on that island with Jessica Alba and they thought they were doomed to die? Would he try to “get some”? Naaah. That ignorant bastard would say he was saving himself for marriage. Dumbass.
|This device is useless in the hands of a dumbass|