More Dead People Dumbassery!

Big Brother

My job in keeping this blog up and running is just a matter of me getting off my ass and writing something every day. That’s the hard part. The easy part is, as I have mentioned a million times, finding a dumbass to write about. and as Luck would have it, this great experiment in Democracy with its 310 million plus residents provides an endless supply of dumbass material. three of the most common themes are drugs (namely pot), tattoos and dead people.

Dead people tend to make the headlines quite often actually. I have written several stories about the dumbassery that goes along with being dead, not that it’s the dead guy’s fault. For some Dead People Dumbassery, you can check this post about the dearly departed receiving Social Security benefits and other taxpayer-funded subsidies. On a related note, this guy was getting his monthly gubmint check like clockwork. I am sure he would appreciate that except for the fact that he’s dead! And, lo and behold, today death again leads us to more dumbassery from the people put in charge of the department of Public Dumbassery and Stoopid Shit. I know that’s going around the coffee cup to find the handle but it’s worth the wait for today’s Dumbassery From the Grave!! 

In Miami Gardens, Florida (Florida!!!), the city uses traffic light cameras to catch those hardened criminals who run red lights! As you know I am against violence unless it is totally necessary to the plot. Plot meet violence. Hence, I shall refer to traffic light cameras as “target practice”. I absolutely do not endorse or encourage any dumbasses to sight in his .22 rifle on the local “target practice” in his town, but I live in New England and I can not report what I don’t witness. I’m just sayin’. Back to Miami Gardens and the “target practice-using communists who run the place…Recently,  “target practice” caught a car breaking a traffic law at a local traffic intersection. :::SNAP::: The traffic light cam “target practice” did its “job” by catching this vicious resident violating City Law! Score one for the Commies. Almost. The car featured in the photo was the car of a dead woman! The decedent’s family had already turned in the tags to her car and done all the Commie Bullshit a family’s gotta do after a loved one dies. But the “target practice” doesn’t lie! Look! There’s the image of the car and it’s driver right there! The one minor flaw in the photographic evidence of wrong doing is that the, once again, the lady who owned the car is graveyard dead. Has been for months. So now the City and the company who runs the “target practice” program in Miami Gardens (American Traffic Solutions, Inc.) are back tracking like Fred Astaire and Ginger Rogers doing the tango. Same old shit. “We’re sorry…”, “we’ll take care off it for you…”…the usual crap.

Here’s my take: Take down these fucking electronic invaders of my space and privacy and shove them up your collective ass, Miami Gardens! As far as American Traffic Solutions, inc., the program overseers, what I have in mind for them is against the law in Florida, so I’ll refrain from comment o that except to say that it involves a ribeye steak rub on the body, alligators and other such fun, froth and frivolity. It is my firm belief that until these “target practices” are removed from traffic lights in Miami Gardens (bwahahahaha, I kill myself. Like that will ever happen!). Or until they somehow malfunction and are beyond repair and cost prohibitive to replace. Two words: target practice. I hope you know that I am just teasing about that part.

Kind of.

Dumbasses.

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