I am at an age (55) when physical maladies that also beset millions of other Dumbasses of similar Life Seniority have begun to manifest themselves upon my person. I am mainly talking about My close friend Arthur Itis and his cousin Fi Bro Myalgia.
While these discomforts are quite unpleasant to deal with, I am thankful beyond words that I am not afflicted with something really serious like cancer, heart disease or God forbid, E.D. While some of my body parts function with limited success, others do exactly what they were designed to do, and for that I am most happy.
There’s a guy named Jeff from Parts Unknown, USA who says that he has problems with his pee pee. Jeff is only 34 years old, so this is indeed sad news for not only Jeff, but his better half, Michelle. It is great news, however, for Duracell or whoever manufactures the brand of batteries Michelle uses in her Battery Operated Boyfriend (BOB) when good ol’ Jeff can’t “tote the mail”.
Jeff and Michelle have searched far and wide for something that will make Jeff’s pecker “normal” again. I would assume that their search includes using hard-on medication like Viagra or Cialis. Quick aside: Why do the drug companies that produce pills that make a man’s willie stand up like a Georgia pine for extended periods of time advise you to seek medical help if your erection lasts longer than four hours? I have never understood this. I am telling you right here and right now that if I ever find myself in need of medical assistance in achieving a woody and I consume one of these drugs to help me out, I am riding that baby to Kingdom Come if that’s where it leads me. Medical attention indeed.
Jeff’s “Medical Assistance”
|E D Symptom Alleviators|
Brother Jeff has come up with a novel method of alleviating the symptoms of his Erectile Dysfunction. He drinks his wife’s breast milk! I am not making this up!
The source for this story is the HuffandPuffnadBlowYourHouseDownington Post. Here’s an extra long excerpt that takes this tale beyond the limits of stoopid, straight into the World of Dumbass: Jeff and Michelle, who wish to have their last names withheld, have been incorporating breastfeeding into their sexual routine since a few months after the birth of their first child. The girl, now age 2, has stopped breastfeeding, but Michelle, 27, is now producing milk for the couple’s 8-month-old son.