I am pissed off. And this is not a good thing for the offending party. Especially if the offending party is a foreign entity, say, like a bunch of Dumbasses who run a city with all the gusto of your friendly neighborhood dictator. What ‘s even worse is that they are going after a guy’s garden! I am from Texas and there are a few things that the gubmint don’t jack with – a man’s house or land, his family his horse, his awl well, his beer and his garden. If the story I am about to pass on to you happened back home in the Lone Star State, you could expect an armed standoff with the commies trying to fuck with a man’s garden. A drunk, pissed off well-armed Texan is not an adversary one should expect to be very cordial.
To make matters worse, this ordeal is taking place in Canada. In Quebec Province. Drummondville, Quebec, Canada to be exact. In case you had for gotten or are not familiar with Quebec. It is Fwench Canadian. Very Fwench. And hoity toity. Holier than thou kinda stuff. Why do these Dumbasses think they are better than your average Canuck? Because they are of Fwench heritage! Now, I don’t know about you, but if I were of Fwench blood, I would hide that fact like the Ancient Jews hid the Ark of the Covenant. From my perpsective, however, being Fwench is just another reason for me to blast these Dumbass-ois into oblivion. Metaphorically speaking of course.
Gubmint Gone Gonzo
Rather try to explain the deal. Here’s the post in its entirety from boingboing.net :
Earlier this year, Josée Landry and Michel Beauchamp of Drummondville, Quebec planted the front yard of the future: a gorgeous and meticulously-maintained edible landscape full of healthy fruits and vegetables. Now they’re being ordered by town officials to remove most of their gardens (town code states that a vegetable garden can’t occupy more than 30% of the area of a front yard) in the next two weeks to make their yard conform with newly harmonized town code. Front yard kitchen gardens are not the problem; they’re part of the solution to healthier and more sustainable communities.
You wanna see what the pussy town officials are pissing their Fwench panties over?
Sacre bleu! Bleu Cheese! Blue berries! BTW, did you know that “sacre bleu” means “blue blood” in Fwench? “Blue blood” or “I am Fwench and I am a bitch ass Commie pussy who revels in the misery of others or ruining their lives because I live a miserable Fwench pussy existence”. I forget which is the correct definition, but I’ll go with the latter.
The Drummondville town officials are probably all wee wee’d up over this garden because they can’t do something this cool and think that if they can’t do it/have it, then nobody should! I mean, c’mon, what can a Fwench Canadian actually do except be a pussy or a bully? Nothing!
I have a couple of ideas that the gardeners should embrace.
- Kill all complaining neighbors. But only if they are Fwench Canadian. Like we say in Texas, “only kill people who deserve killin'”. If that seems a bit harsh, then just send your little girl over to threaten to kick all the male members of the house asses. You’ll see a white surrender flag go up quicker than a hiccup. Remember, Fwench people and their progeny are pussies.
- If there’s no legal way out of this bullshit for the Garden Guys, they should have the World’s Biggest Front Yard Garden Veggie and Fruit Sale in the History of Drummondville,Quebec, Fwench Canada, then follow Idea #1. Those pussies still need an ass kickin’.
- Follow whatever Dumbass Rules the Fwench Commie Town Officials dictate to you then open up an Open Air Strip Club in place of the garden that has been removed.Wait. Scratch this idea. It will prolly gain Town Officials’ approval. Still, strippers would be a nice addition to the cucumbers in the garden, if you know what I mean and I think you do.
- PETITION: Stop the War on Front Yard Vegetable Gardens Sign that petition. With the full power and wrath of the Dumbass Horde staring those Fwench Knob Slobberers smack dab in the eyeballs, they’ll fold like a cheap tent. Or get beat up by little girls.
- Move to Texas.
Remember, Fellow Dumbasses: If they outlaw front yard gardens, then only outlaws will have front yard gardens!
And Town Officials in Drummondville,Quebec, Fwench Pussy Canada can kiss my derriere.