Dumbass Laws – Part 1

Here’s our first installment of Dumbass Laws. We at Dumbass News have boldly gone where nobody cares, but hey, we found some good, solid dumbass stuff. You will first see the state listed with the dumbass law to follow, then my comments will follow “DN“.

Dumbass Laws From Around the Country:

Alabama – In Jasper, it is illegal for a man to beat his wife with a stick larger in diameter than his thumb.
DN- I suppose a big man with fat fingers has the go ahead to bludgeon his wife with a pool cue. Dumbasses.

Alaska – With the proper licenses, you can kill a bear in Alaska. However, it is illegal to wake a sleeping bear so you can take his picture.
DN – It is a dumbass thing to wake a sleeping bear period. Unless you want to become bear supper.
Dumbasses.

Arizona – In Tucson, women wearing pants are breaking the law.
DN – You think that is illegal? See what happens if a woman goes outside without wearing pants. Just sayin’.

Arkansas – More wife beatin’ here. A man in Arkansas can legally beat his wife, but not more than once a month.
DN – I say the fine folks of the Natural State should make it legal for a wife to shoot her husband in the ass with a 12 gauge shotgun if the husband beats her. But she can’t do it more than once a month. Dumbasses.

California – You must have a hunting license to set a mousetrap.
DN – If you need a hunting license to catch a mouse, fuck a bunch of mousetraps, I’m going with a 30.06. That’s gotta be one BIG mouse.

See what you are in for over the coming weeks? I know I feel smarter just having read these dumbass laws. I also know that I have broken many of these laws myself, but not in the state in which they are in effect. Does that make me a felon? No, but it does make me a dumbass.

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