Welcome, degenerates and dumbasses from around the globe, to our second installment of Dumbass Laws! The USA is the world’s leader in many things that benefit mankind – stuff like food production, technology, medicine, etc. Sadly, we also lead the world in the number of dumbass laws still on the books – except for France. Nobody can have that many dumbass laws and still survive as a country for long. But, I digress.
I’m not here to rag on France, even though it’s fun and easy to do, I am here to tell you about some of the dumbass laws still in effect all around The Fruited Plain. These dumbass laws are probably of French origin, so that explains a lot. (I told you it was fun and easy). Again, I digress.
Actual Dumbass Laws still on the books:
Colorado: in the city of Durango, it is illegal to wear clothes “unbecoming one’s sex”.
DN: Really? Have you seen the number of Californians in Colorado these days? They’ll turn Durango into San Fransissy East in no time. Just sayin’.
Connecticut: In Hartford, it is against the law for a man to kiss his wife on Sunday.
DN: Lucky bastards. They get to watch football all day without interruption.
Delaware: if you fly over a body of water, you’d better have a sufficient supply of food and drink. Otherwise, you are breaking the law.
DN: That’s all well and good, but I have a question. Can you use a bologna sandwich as a flotation device? Just askin’.
Florida: You may want to re-pack your suitcase if you are headed to Miami. Why? It is illegal for a MAN to wear any type of strapless gown.
DN: Well, hell. There goes my weekend in Miami. Dumbasses.
Georgia: Quitman must have something against bad jokes. In that Georgia city, it is illegal for a chicken to cross the road.
DN: Now we’ll NEVER know the answer as to why the chicken crossed the road. Unless the answer is “to get a jaywalking ticket”. Dumbasses.
I bet even in France, chickens can legally cross the road. Unless the truck drivers, etc. are on strike again for some dumbass reason like having to work all the way up to 62 years old. Dumbasses.