Generalissimo Bloomberg Bans BOBs in Big Apple! Kind Of

New York City and Mayor Michael Bloomturd have gone too far this time.

It all started with transfats, then salt and large fountain sodas as targets of Hizzoner’s I am a God Syndrome, now this vicious attack on Freedom has moved on to vibrators. Citizens of the Big Apple revolt!

Mayor Bloombito, Commie 

Mayor Michael Bloomingidiot of NYC is not a stoopid man. he’s a Commie Dumbass, but he is not a stoopid guy. he didn’t get to be a billionaire by being ignunt, so I figure he must have made a deal with Satan in order to achieve his riches and his power. That’s the only logical explanation.

As you’ll recall, His Highness started down the road to being a dictator by banning trans fats in restaurants throughout New York City. Then salt became the villain du jour. As if that ain’t enough of this Little Man’s Crusade to Run Your Life, he stepped in and decreed that soft drinks at eateries all over the city would not be sold in containers holding more than sixteen ounces.

At this point. you gotta wonder what the fuck is next?

Horny Wimmin & Homos Unite!

Now we know.

Buzz Kill 

The Daily Mail (London) reports, Shoppers were tingling with excitement when they spotted stalls handing out free vibrators yesterday.
Around 1,000 people – male and female – joined the queues across New York to get their hands on the sex toys.
Crowds downtown were left frustrated however, when city officials pulled the plug on the traffic-stopping event after only 40 minutes.”

Go read the entire article here and I’ll wait for you to return.

I Have Questions 

Fearless Leaders do not become Fearless Leaders by sitting idly by while the horny wimmin (and homos) of the biggest city in the country are denied their Constitutional right to self pleasure using battery operated boyfriends. That’s why I lead the Dumbass Horde, not follow it. 

I have a few very pointed (I said pointed, bwahahahahaha) questions for mayor Bloomingfuckwad.

  • Blocking traffic? Are you fucking serious? In NYC? That’s about as difficult as finding a homo in San Francissy.
  • What is your problem with horny wimmin and homos?
  • What have you got against vibrators? You appear to have one up your ass 24/7.
  • What have you got against Trojan? Wait, you have no “manhood” or balls so at least I can see your point here. You feel left out. Except for the vibrator up the ass part.
  • Why don’t you buy stock in Dura Cell and endorse the fake dick giveaway? You could make another fortune!
  • Use lubricant on your personal BOB and your asshole won’t be so chapped all the time.

I think these are fair questions that deserve, nay demand answers!

So whaddya say, Mayor? Grow a pair. Answer to the people you supposedly represent! Especially the horny wimmin and homo constituency. It’s your duty.

I guess we can be thankful that the BOBs in question were not salted 32 ounce dipped in lard toys. There’s no tellin’ what His Hiney-ness would have done.

Dumbass. 

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