Best of Dumbass News!
One of the essential rules of economics is, regardless of what you intend to market, you’ve got to determine if there’s a market for it. And damned if some dumbass lady in Spain didn’t pick one of the most marketable products in the history of Man. The sun. Yup, that big bright yellow ball at the center of a our solar system. That sun.
Angeles Duran of the soggy Galicia region (which in Castillan Spanish means region of dumbasses) of Spain, went to a local notary public and registered El Sol as her own private property.This turn of events leads to several interesting preguntas (a little Espanol for you there). For instance, where did she get the deed to the sun? Is the deed to the sun one of those things Moses brought down with the Ten Commandments from Mount Sinai? Did God himself sign the deed over to Angeles the dumbass? And if He did, is Angeles the dumbass on hook for property taxes on the sun or did The Almighty sell it to her tax free? After a few billion years of owning the sun, did God just want to get a return on His investment? One other question is, what was the notary public drinking and/or smoking when he certified Angeles as the owner of the sun? Inquiring minds want to know. I have several more questions that come to mind, but they are borderline blasphemous, and I need to build up a little more credit with God, before I even think about asking them. Better safe than sorry, I always say.
My next question is more of the earthly nature. What the hell is this dumbass, Angeles, going to do with the sun now that she owns it? I bet you thought that was a rhetorical question, didn’t you? Oh, hell no. Angeles the dumbass has it all figured out. According to an interview she conducted with El Mundo (The World), Angeles the dumbass owner of the sun said she now wants to slap a fee on everyone who uses the sun and give half of the proceeds to the Spanish government and 20 percent to the nation’s pension fund. She would dedicate another 10 percent to research, another 10 percent to ending world hunger — and would keep the remaining 10 percent herself. “It is time to start doing things the right way, if there is an idea for how to generate income and improve the economy and people’s well being, why not do it?” she asked. It’s a relief to see that this dumbass is a Liberal. I know she’s a Liberal because she no sooner gain ownership of the sun, than she wants to levy a tax on its use. Remember, fee = tax.
If Angeles succeeds in this scam, I get dibs on air.