What’s it with all the crimes involving food this week? Are we really closer to “food-magedon” than we realize? I have read of several crimes being committed with and over food and on this blog its own self, we covered a horrifying (OK, maybe not exactly horrifying, but funny as hell) story of assault by sammich! Here on Dumbass News alone, we have now covered several (three of them this week) food-related dumbass activities.
One such story involves two Akron, Ohio brothers and a chicken leg, while the other covers an international incident between Fwance and Germany over pate de foie gras. And just the day before yesterday, we had the roadkill in the Chinese buffet story. Hit the links to peruse those stories and I’ll be here with the Tale of the Taters when you get back.
Tale of the Taters
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The scene: Lady and her family go out to eat at a Bradenton, Florida restaurant. Lady’s mashed potatoes are cold and she gets upset.
Here’s the whole story from bradenton.com, A manager at Cody’s Roadhouse, 895 Cortez Road W., reported to deputies that she was beaten by a customer Monday afternoon, an incident that allegedly started over cold mashed potatoes.
The incident began when a woman, who was eating in the restaurant with a male and two young girls, became upset when her mashed potatoes were cold and requested a 50 percent discount on her meal, according to a Manatee County Sheriff’s Office report.
The manager, the one later assaulted, gave the woman a credit to return at a later time.
On Monday around 4 p.m., the customer entered and requested to talk to the owner. The manager approached the customer, an argument ensued and the customer grabbed the victim’s hand and grabbed her around the throat, according to the report.
The unknown female customer then fled in a blue Saab, the report states.
What I Got from It
- The lady was not happy with cold mashed potatoes
- She really wanted some mashed potatoes
- The manager handled the situation properly, except for not kicking the lady’s ass when she grabbed the manager by the throat.
- This incident did not cause an international flap like the foie gras did.
- Some people like the lady in the story are fucking nuts.
- Man, did that woman want some mashed potatoes!
- If the lady who assaulted the restaurant manger ever ends up on Death Row, and with a temper like that you never know, I hope her last meal is for whatever and mashed potatoes.
- And the potatoes are cold.