The Yankees (Northerners, not the baseball team) have taken over Florida. The conquest is complete. I have proof of this horrific news and today I will share that proof with you, my fellow Dumbasses, no matter how much it pains my Southern-to-the-Core heart. What follows is not for the weak of heart or mind.
The mascot for a small, family owned Ocala, Florida ice cream shop is actually a mascot for the Ku Klux Klan! I. Shit. You. Not. The mascot goes around Ocala and tries to drum up business for the ice cream joint. He has often been mistaken as a symbol for the Klan! I can hear Yankees from all the other places in the USA that they are to subvert screaming in unison, “What does that have to do with us, you bigoted Redneck asshole?” Here’s your answer, you sons of motherless goats, Anti-Southern people dickweeds and representatives of all that is wrong with this great country. Who the hell else besides a dumb fucking Yankee would mistake this for a KKK uniform? See the various colored patches on the “hood” of the costume? What do think that is? A secret Klan colored scheme that signifies the mascot’s rank in the KKK, Local 666? If you’d look a little further, you’d discover that the dude in the costume is a Hispanic type, Puerto Rican to be exact, guy. You know how much those Puerto Ricans love that gay old Klan. The KKK used to use guys like this for target practice or as a preliminary sacrifice while waiting for the real fun to begin when they could lynch a black guy. Believe you me, that if this guy was a Klan plant, the good people of Ocala, Florida would save the County a bunch of money and court time when they finished stompin’ a mud hole in the motherfucker.
So all you “I hate the South, so let’s turn it into New Jersey South since its worked out so well up North” asswipes, you have two choices. 1) Assimilate to your new environs. You might just learn something about caring for your neighbor or taking care of community business on your own, without the need for Federal intervention and lots of other cool shit from Southerners. Choice 2). Move the fuck BACK to New Frakkin’ Jersey, douchebag! Now ain’t that easy?
That’s how they do it in Dixie.