Bank Robbery, Bigot Math and The Frozen Dead Guy!

Portrait of Fearless Leader

Best of Dumbass News

Your Fearless Leader of The Dumbass Horde (me) has had a busy day thus far this cold (15 degrees @ 16:26 EST; the low tonight? 3 below zero!) Saturday in New England. All I can say is that I’m glad Santa brought me a Gazebo Warmer ® for Christmas. Otherwise it could have tragic. And my voice, which is a solid baritone, would have gone up a couple of octaves. God bless the man who invented The Gazebo Warmer ®. Twice. Once for each gazebo. I’m just sayin’.

The tag line of this blog (“Bringin’ the Dumbassery on a Daily Basis”) has never been more appropriate than it was this week. We had enough dumbassery in one week….let me put it this way: if dumbassery was bling, I’d make Flava Flav look like he dressed like Jed Clampett.

Even though I’m late with the dumbassery today, I believe you’ll agree it was worth the wait. For example…

  • This week was so full of outstanding dumbassery that the most “sane” dipshit of the week was a guy who paid his girlfriend’s rent…..by robbing banks! That ought to be a major clue as to what’s yet to come.
  • Speaking of banks (<—-excellent Dumbass Segue)…A Wells Fargo Bank in  where else but California,. was hell bent on making withdrawals extremely simple for not only their customers, but everybody else too! They accomplished this unprecedented form of Customer Service by leaving the bank’s front doors OPEN all weekend!
  • In our most disgusting display of dumbass douchebaggery of the week, school board members in Norcross, Georgia showed their true colors (pun intended) towards black folks without even uttering a word. Hint: It concerns slavery and math. Be prepared to curse aloud. It’s that Ludacris. <—-humor noir
  • Bonus Dumbassery! Every story I post on Dumbass News is kind of like one of my kids. You know what I mean if you’re the parent of more than one child. You love them all, but not one more than the other. Having said that, I have a very difficult time not favoring the story of The Frozen Dead Guy over the other 446 posts on this blog. It’s Classic Dumbass from beginning to end with a healthy dose of international intrigue thrown in for good measure. This is a must read!

Dare I say that This Week in Dumbass News History will forever be the epitome of what the chronicling of dumbassery should be? I dare. Has the bar been set impossibly high for future Dumbass News content? Why, hell no!

I think I have just issued a challenge to myself. Challenge accepted.

Dumbass.

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