2012 Fred G. Sanford Memorial "You Big Dummy" Dumbass of the Year Award!

After all the hoopla, anticipation and the requisite drama, we have made it. We have reached the apex of absurdity, the pinnacle of puerility, the summit of stupidity….OK, OK enough of the euphemisms.

It’s time for the 3rd Annual Fred G. Sanford Memorial “You Big Dummy” Dumbass of the Year Award!

Before we get to the nitty gritty, let me first thank all you Dumbasses from 154 countries around the world for a tremendous 2012 at Dumbass News. It’s your continued support and readership that keep this thing afloat. Without you, the Dumbass of the Year Award, would be just another cheap ass, attention-whore piece of metal like those fake ass Oscars, Tonys or Golden Globes. Anybody can win one of those things. The DOY is presented to an authentic Dumbass, not some goober pretending to be a Dumbass. The Dummy is as real as Santa Claus or the Tooth Fairy. So take that, Hollywood and Broadway! Buncha fuckin’ posers.

That said, let’s get down to bidness.

Finalists – 2012 Fred G. Sanford Memorial “You Big Dummy” Dumbass of the Year Award 

After all the reading and re-reading and cussin’ and discussin’, here are the Best of the Worst Dumbasses for 2012 (in no particular order):

After much contemplative thought and critical deliberation, I have come to a decision. And it wasn’t easy.

The winner of the 3rd Annual Fred G. Sanford Memorial “You Big Dummy” Dumbass of the Year Award is…White Guy Goes to War, White Wife Has Black Baby While He’s Gone and Blames It On a “Lifelike” 3D Porn Flick! Folks, it takes some serious mental gymnastics to come up with a “blame it on a 3D skin flick” when you are busted like the wife in this story is. The one detail that put this story over the top, however, was the fact that the white guy who went to war and came home to a black baby actually believed this cock and bull nonsense!

That, my friends, is 100% Grade A Unadulterated Full Tilt Boogie Dumbassery Traveling at the Speed of Stoopid and the perfect way to end an exemplary year of Dumbass News. We can only hope that 2013 is as benevolent to us as 2012 was – in a Dumbass kind of way.

Happy New Year!

Dumbasses.

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