Boobs. Knockers. Hooters. Hammers. Tits. Sweater puppies. Whatever we choose to call them, female mammary glands are a mainstay topic here at Dumbass News.
From the lingerie saleslady that was fired from her job because her heat seekers were too big to the stoopid broad who used her breast implants to smuggle cocaine, we’ve had a grip boobs news like no other web site in the world for almost two and a half years.
Despite the wide range and sheer volume of stories about ta-tas on this blog, new boobies stories come to our attention every day, none odder than the one we’ll cover today.
|Deadly in the Wrong Hands|
A couple (of people, not knockers) got into a domestic disturbance. This little confrontation was “lively” enough that concerned neighbors called the Law.
At some point in the argument the female half of the dueling duo pinned her male counterpart down to the ground and laid on top of him. Somehow, the guy’s face became buried between the woman’s boobs. 99% of the time this would be an enviable position for a guy, or a lezbean, to be in. Such was not the case in this instance. I’m sure that right now there is at least one Dumbass in each of the 154 countries that read Dumbass News wondering, “Since when is it a bad thing for a man to have his mug firmly ensconced twixt a set of sweater puppies?” That’s a fair question and there’s a reasonable explanation for it. The dude couldn’t breathe which lead to a condition known as DEATH! Smothered into the hereafter by boobs!
This story brings to mind the Dumbass who was cheating on his wife and kicked the bucket in mid hump of a threesome. I don’t think I’m going too far out on a limb when I say that many of the male Dumbasses reading this post would be more than happy to keel over chin to chest with a woman and her hammers or in a Dumbass a trois. All I can say about that is that you are some sick, twisted fuckers. In other words, my kind of people.
It comes as no surprise that, like several Dumbasses reading this, the Lady With the Assault Boobs was drunk at the time of the incident. I don’t know if the guy was drunk or not as he was unavailable for comment because he is DEAD!
The woman was arrested and is facing 2nd degree murder charges.
Oh, yeah one more thing…this whole ordeal took place in a trailer park.