Gun Control: Dumbass Buys Illegal Gun, Promptly Shoots Self in Genitals!

Shot in Number 3
Best of Dumbass News 
 
“A well regulated Militia, being necessary to the security of a free State, the right of the people to keep and bear Arms, shall not be infringed.”

Beautiful words, those. That visionary statement is the 2nd Amendment to the Constitution of the United States.

There are, of course, exceptions to the Amendment. Like convicted felons owning guns and that sort of thing.

Which brings us to today’s story.

Big No No

Tavares Donnell Colbert is one of the exceptions to the 2nd Amendment in which I alluded to earlier. He is a convicted felon having been found guilty of possession and intent to distribute a controlled substance. Therefore, no pistola for Senor Colbert.

But Mr. Colbert, being the Dumbass Drug Dealer and convicted asswipe that he is, has no desire nor compunction to obey the law. Hell, he just spent a stretch in the Big House, and I feel safe in saying that he probably didn’t take any civics classes while he was locked up. But, I am merely speculating.

To further bolster my argument, let me fill you in on the fact that Tavvy-poo illegally bought a weapon off the street some where in Kansas.

This is where the fun begins.

The Fun

From what I ascertain, Tav was planning his next big bidness venture in the Wonderful World of Narcotics Capitalism, when he thought it would be a good thing to test out his ill-gotten gun before actually committing a crime. So he got on Interstate 35, found a nice private place to bust a few caps.

Then he promptly shot himself in his Manhood.

My source story doesn’t get specific about whether Tavares blasted himself in the gazebos or in Willie the One-Eyed Wonder Worm. As a member of the Male of the Species, I can unquestionably tell you that neither the gazebos nor Willie are the most preferred place in which to suffer a gunshot wound. Anytime. Especially at close range. That’s gotta leave mark.

With his genitals now resembling shredded wheat, “T” drove himself to the hospital where he received emergency care for his ding-a-ling and his huevos. Plus! As an added bonus he also got a visit from the Oklahoma City Police Department. See, when injury by a firearm is involved in an ER visit, hospitals are required by law to notify law enforcement.

Upon seeing the evidence at hand (see what I did there?), the OKCPD did their duty and escorted Tavares Donnell Colbert to the OKC Facility for Dumbasses Who Shoot themselves in the nuts sack.TDC’s next big adventure will include many years behind bars and an up close and very personal relationship with the Dumbass News Official Adopted Felon, Leon “Hung Like a Horse” Williams, iykwimaityd.

It appears that Prison Bitch-hood will suit Tavares well. Instead of testing an illegal firearm, he’ll be testing “long barrelled “pistolas”. And the elasticity of his bung hole.

Dumbass.

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