There are certain truths in life that you just don’t mess around with. When in Texas, it’s a real bad idea to make fun of chili. In North Carolina, it’s not too smart to complain about pulled pork sandwiches. You don’t piss into the wind and another undeniable fact of life is that you do not bad mouth cheese in America’s Dairyland, Wisconsin. Let me splain.
There’s a group of doctors located near Green Bay (Go Pack!) who have gone and pissed in the Cheerios, or more accurately, cheese, of the fine, cheese-loving population of the state. This is not wise. I’d say it’s more, oh, what’s the word, dumbass. The Physicians Committee for Responsible Medicine has put up a billboard near Title Town that blasphemes one of America’s favorite foods, cheese, and that has some folks pretty damn mad. Besides the usual “if you eat cheese you’ll die” bullshit, the billboard also features the Grim Reaper wearing a Cheesehead Hat. That’s one of those giant wedges of cheese that you see tens of thousands of fans wear at Lambeau Field during a Green Bay Packers game. (Go Pack!). It would be a better idea to call the Pope an atheist than to demean a Cheesehead hat in Green Bay. At least the Pope would forgive. Packers fans will not.
But, Toby, this group is made up of doctors, shouldn’t they know this stuff? Yes they are doctors and no they don’t necessarily know this stuff. This particular group of physicians is a bunch of Liberal do gooders that want to tell you how to live your life. Toby don’t play dat. And if they want to live at all, they should drop the billboard idea like the Packers front four drops an opposing quarterback – real quick. These dipshit docs are messing with lots of people who work in and around the cheese industry and by extension, messing with these same folks’ livelihood. Slick move ex Lax.
If this bunch of weenie yankers want to do the country a service, move to California and preach the gospel of why granola and the sissies that eat it are bad for the human race. They won’t fight back, but they just might scratch your eyes out, you meanies.