I have, as my late Dad used to say, been around the coffee cup huntin’ the handle. In other words, I have been there and done that. But I have never, and I mean never heard of such a thing as “assault with deer antlers”. Now I have. thanks to this blog. Who says that dumbassery can’t be an educational tool? Obviously some one who is just a mere “dipshit” and not a Certified Dumbass like me. Ha!
This where our final nominee for the 2nd Annual Fred G. Sanford “You Big Dummy” Dumbass of the Year Award comes in. let me stress to you that I did not make this story up. I ain’t that smart. Or that dumb. Whichever.
There is no way I could explain this tale of love and antlers that would be any better than when I wrote about it a couple of weeks ago.
Am I ever glad that that one made it to press just before the cutoff date for this year’s Dummy Awards. having done so, it is out final nominee for the Dumbass of the Year Award for 2011, and what a year in Dumbassville it has been for your Mayor here. But, wait there’s more!
I will announce to the world the winner of the Dumbass of the Year Award on Tuesday, January 3, 2012. However! Tomorrow, New Year’s Eve, I will be bringing to you the winners in the various categories of the DOY Awards! You won’t want to miss that! After reading the results of my tabulations, you’ll want to get a major head start on your drinking for the last night of 2011! What fun!
Be sure to set your alarms so you’ll be the first in your neighborhood to say, “Bring me a beer, Woman!” Fucking drunk. And…