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We are already one full week into 2012 and things around Dumbass News keep getting better and better, thanks to you, the Dumbasses of the World in 121 Dumbass Nations. I like the sound of that, Dumbass Nations. Has sort of a “band of brothers” feel to it. I am honored to be your Fearless Dumbass Leader, the Duke of Dumbass the Head Dumbass in Charge, the…OK, that’s enough of that.
Sorry, I lost my mind just for a moment.
Anyway, 2012 is shaping up to be by far, the best year ever for this blog and I am excited as a Dumbass Hobo in a likker store with a pocket full of cheese. For those of you in San Francisco, “cheese” is not what you guys find in your dirty Fruit of the Looms, it means “money” ya frakkin’ idjits. Speaking of cash flow, mine has slowed down to an ebb and your generous Dumbass Donation can be made through PayPal by clicking on the “Donate” button in the right sidebar. Any such gifts would be greatly appreciated. Dumbasses. 🙂
The 1st Week of 2012
We left 2011 behind in grand style as we paid homage to the best dumbasses last year had to offer. The explosion of dumbassery carried over into the New Year with the first few dumbasses of 2012.
So, let’s hop into the Dumbass Wayback Machine and take a look at this past week of the best dumbass news stories found anywhere in the World Wide Web.
The 1st Annual Fred G. Sanford Memorial “You Big Dummy” Awards
For a complete look at the various “You Big Dummy” Award nominees and the winners in the different categories click this link. (After reading the story, scroll down below the post and look for “Newer Posts”, click there on every page and that will lead you to next Award Presentation. Just keep going until you get to the “You Big Dummy” winner)
The Oscars, Grammys and all those fake awards have nothing on the “Dummies”. Hey, we take this shit seriously, unlike those pussies at the other award shows. Our Dumbass of the Year candidates are selected and awarded based on the merits of their dumbassery. No politics involved. Unless it tweaks the Fwench and the homos and non-homos of San Francisco. I hate the Fwench and the jizz dumpsters in San Fran.
- Starting 2012 with a Threefer Dumbass Bonus! The three “Curious” Old Bastards in this story scream for the manly affections of the Twinkletoes Crowd in S.F. Truly sickening and truly dumbass. Ya gotta love it.
- The Pistola in Starbucks – Dumbass chick takes loaded gun to coffee shop. Gun discharges. Criminal procedures ensue.
- I’ll Take “I Got Fined $200 Large for Keeping Chickens in My Yard Because the City is Run By Bigots”, Alex – This one is a riot. The Dumbass in this tale of woe claims he is being singled out by City Officials because he is of Moroccan-Syrian extract. Did I mention that he is a Jew? To my knowledge, the fine dictators of Morocco and Syria would find great pleasure in BBQing this fucking idiot and using him for camel food simply because he is a Jew, and he claims prejudice in the F-L-A? I am almost 100% certain that the asshole is the only person of Arab heritage in Florida, so it must be bigotry. <—–That’s sarcasm, by the way. Read it and weep.
Now you can understand why I am so stoked about 2012. I am confident that the crop of Dumbasses in ’12 will be the Best Bunch Ever! Especially if they are butthurt Arabs, Fwench or homos in San Francissy. This year is gonna be great!
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