This was a very busy week at Dumbass News. We had an outstanding crop of Dumbasses to harvest for you, but unfortunately many of you missed the pickin’s.
So for the Dumbasses that were for some reason unable to enjoy the fruits of our labors, and for the newest Dumbasses who just now smelling the manure of our Garden of Dumbassery, we give you, in spite of Public Outrage and Threats of Litigation, the Dumbass Week in Review!
- There’s no better way to start a new week than with a good rousing session of Mad Monkey Cow Sex and it’s role in ushering in The End of the World. This kind of stuff is the reason I live to do write this blog. I am a blessed man.
- We have another case of a woman, or in this case, King Kong, going completely off her rocker and doing major damage to some poor guys gazebos. This is an epidemic and it must be stopped at any cost, or soon there will be no men with gazebos left in the world!
- There are hundreds of millions of the world’s 7 billion people who see the United States as a beacon for Freedom, Liberty and a place in which to create a better lifestyle for their families in a land of limitless opportunity. Unfortunately we also have Liberals who take the opposite view of their own country. Maybe we can trade a Liberal for each Freedom-seeking immigrant who goes through the proper channels to become an American Citizen. One for one. Immigrant becomes American, Liberal becomes foreigner. I like it. With that brilliant idea on the table for our elected Dumbasses in Congress to consider, we covered the story of an immigrant who wanted to become an American in the worst way. “The worst way” meaning she beat the hell out of her boyfriend because he didn’t want to marry her.
You can look on the internet for years and not find a collection of Dumbassery like this. I care enough about you to do it for you. So, sally forth my Dumbass Minions into the Realm of What the Hell Am I Doing This For?
You deserve it.