Category: Bethany College

Golf Team Does Nekkid Calendar; Cleans Balls First

Hits Balls Like Nothing Else

BEST OF DUMBASS NEWS!

I have been in contact via Facebook with some long-time friends of mine back home in Texas who have kids starting college this fall. Their offspring will be attending fine universities like Texas A & M – Commerce and the University of Texas at Tyler. It’s probably a good thing that my friends are very involved with their kids’ education and helped the youngsters make a decision on the school that is right for them. My friends, and by extension their children, will be pleased that Bethany College in Kansas was not among their final choices of institutions of higher learning. Let me splain.

Not too long ago a few members of the men’s golf team at Bethany posed for a calendar. This was, however, no ordinary calendar! These young men posed nekkid using golf clubs to cover their gazebos and “putters”. Putzes. I have never posed for nekkid photos for a calendar or any other publication, but I used to be a scratch (no pun intended) golfer and I have gazebos. I therefore feel that I am qualified to inject (again no pun intended) my golfing and gazebo knowledge into this conversation.

When trying to conceal one’s “putter” for a photo, one should not use a putter (the golf club) in order to do so. The blade, of the putter would only hide a small portion of a man’s “putter”. Unless he has a small “putter”. One should also consider the loft of the club (the angle at which it connects to the shaft), (again no pun intended…OK…maybe the pun was intended on this one). A pitching wedge, for example, has a loft that would be unsatisfactory in hiding one’s “putter”. A 2 or 3 iron maybe, but not a wedge. My choice would be a driver or a Big Bertha. Both of these clubs have large heads (OK, ALL the puns were intended!) on them that would most likely cover all but the largest of “putters”. Of course, a head cover ( I kill myself) would be the most effective non-club option, but apparently that wasn’t one the choices for the photo shoot. For non-golfers, a club cover is a sock-like gizmo that fits over the club heads of the woods (bwahahahaha) in a set of golf clubs that protects the club head from the elements and scratches, etc. That’s the way I see it anyway.

These young men, their gazebos and “putters” (the clubs and non-clubs versions), were suspended from the first three tournaments in conference play for their shenanigans. Not for posing nude for the calendar, but for using the words “Bethany College” on it.

From the UPI story: 
School officials said the picture did not violate athletic regulations but the caption bore the words Bethany College, which officials said was an inappropriate use of the institution’s name. I just want to make sure they understand life choices and consequences.” Well hell! That cleared that right up, didn’t it? What would the staff at Bethany College do if one of their coeds was a stripper and wore a BC tank top while gettin’ neekid? I’m just askin’.

The golf team bogeyed this one and ended up stymied by the college. Such are the water hazards of life for young people. And par for the course.

Dumbasses.

USF Star Wars Statues – 10 Grand; Students – Goose Egg

Economically, this country is in pretty rough shape. Officially the unemployment rate is about 9%. If you count the people who have given up on finding a job, the rate is about 16%. That ain’t good. What’s worse is that our elected dumbasses continue to spend like a stripper on a three day meth binge. Some of you may consider that statement as a comparison between the US Congress and meth addled “exotic dancers”. You are entirely correct and I’d like to apologize to all speed freak strippers across this great land of ours. My point is that in such troubling financial times, we should all be extremely careful how we spend our hard earned money. This goes exponentially for Congress. We didn’t get to be $14 trillion (that’s a 1000  billion times fourteen, folks), by pinching pennies but that’s another story for another day.
The Dumbass Chancellor
It appears that the regional Chancellor of the University of South Flo rida Polytechnic, from here on referred to as USF Tech, didn’t get the memo. This is an educated, presumably in public schools, man who has more than one taco missing from the ole Taco Bell Shitload of Tacos meal. This dumbass took $10,000 dollars from the school’s general funds and spent it on…wait…for…it..Star Wars statues to be erected on campus! And a statue of E.T. And a replica of the chair that Captain Kirk sat in on Star Trek. I think that this dumbass was Lost in Space (I made a funny) at some point in his life and has never returned to Earth. Or reality. Why would a college Chancellor spend ten large i such a frivolous manor? Besides being a dumbass without a clue, he wanted to “encourage inspiration beyond conventional thought for business students”. That’s a quote straight from the UPI story I got the idea for this post from. I think this particular meth head guy has been buying some bad shit from the local strippers. It’s not like there is some impoverished young person could use ten grand for an education or something.

Florida Lawmakers Pissed
Long story short, a couple of Republican state lawmakers are pissed and Chancellor Chewbaca is is deep doo doo. As it should be. BTW, no Democrat state rep came forward to condemn this blatant misuse of university funds. They were evidently hoping the Chancellor had a couple thousand extra laying around to build a statue of themselves. Or at least build a dog park named after the elected dumbass where the stench would remind USF Tech students of the smell of a liberal asshole. Hopefully the Chancellor will visit the dog park and step in a steaming pile of liberalism.

Dumbass.

College Golf Team Does Nekkid Calendar; Hides Gazebos Behind Golf Clubs

Big Bertha, Gazebo Concealer

I have been in contact via Facebook with some long-time friends of mine back home in Texas who have kids starting college this fall. Their offspring will be attending fine universities like Texas A & M – Commerce and the University of Texas at Tyler. It’s probably a good thing that my friends are very involved with their kids’ education and helped the youngsters make a decision on the school that is right for them. My friends, and by extension their children, will be pleased that Bethany College in Kansas was not among their final choices of institutions of higher learning. Let me splain.

Not too long ago a few members of the men’s golf team at Bethany posed for a calendar. This was, however, no ordinary calendar! These young men posed nekkid using golf clubs to cover their gazebos and “putters”. Putzes. I have never posed for nekkid photos for a calendar or any other publication, but I used to be a scratch (no pun intended) golfer and I have gazebos. I therefore feel that I am qualified to inject (again no pun intended) my golfing and gazebo knowledge into this conversation.

When trying to conceal one’s “putter” for a photo, one should not use a putter (the golf club) in order to do so. The blade, of the putter would only hide a small portion of a man’s “putter”. Unless he has a small “putter”. One should also consider the loft of the club (the angle at which it connects to the shaft), (again no pun intended…OK…maybe the pun was intended on this one). A pitching wedge, for example, has a loft that would be unsatisfactory in hiding one’s “putter”. A 2 or 3 iron maybe, but not a wedge. My choice would be a driver or a Big Bertha. Both of these clubs have large heads (OK, ALL the puns were intended!) on them that would most likely cover all but the largest of “putters”. Of course, a head cover ( I kill myself) would be the most effective non-club option, but apparently that wasn’t one the choices for the photo shoot. For non-golfers, a club cover is a sock-like gizmo that fits over the club heads of the woods (bwahahahaha) in a set of golf clubs that protects the club head from the elements and scratches, etc. That’s the way I see it anyway.

These young men, their gazebos and “putters” (the clubs and non-clubs versions), were suspended from the first three tournaments in conference play for their shenanigans. Not for posing nude for the calendar, but for using the words “Bethany College” on it.

From the UPI story: 
School officials said the picture did not violate athletic regulations but the caption bore the words Bethany College, which officials said was an inappropriate use of the institution’s name. I just want to make sure they understand life choices and consequences.” Well hell! That cleared that right up, didn’t it? What would the staff at Bethany College do if one of their coeds was a stripper and wore a BC tank top while gettin’ neekid? I’m just askin’.

The golf team bogeyed this one and ended up stymied by the college. Such are the water hazards of life for young people. And par for the course.

Dumbasses.