Category: Bicth

To Dumbass Thief in York, PA: Lurn Two Spel, Bicth!

Yesterday’s Dumbass News featured a Dumbass who couldn’t or wouldn’t read the labels on the sewage and/or fuel tanks of an RV and wound up with a mouth full of shit instead of gasoline. Today we’ll shine the Spotlight of Dumbassery on an idjit who can’t spell.

But First… 

I am a firm believer in the “if you’re gonna do it, do it to the best of your ability”, or iygdidittboya, school of thought.

It’s simple, really. If you are gonna build something, build the best one you can. If you are gonna paint something, paint it like you never painted before. That last one didn’t come out the way I wanted it to but you catch my drift. Give any given task 100% and you should have no regrets about possibly having tried harder or done it better.

This is especially true if you are a criminal.

Let me splain.

Spell Check Your Work

Let me give you an example of what I mean by spell check your work. See the nice jihadi in the photo? His message would have been much more effective if he’d only spelled “Jews” right. Instead he looks like even more of a camel-fucking pig than he already is. Killing “juice” is not high on the “Death to the Jews” agenda supported by this dooshbag and his cronies, I’m sure. But slaughtering those of the Hebrew faith is. If only he’d consulted a real Jew on how to spell “Jews” correctly, he’d simply look like a pissed off rag head instead of a complete pile of steaming aardvark shit.

Today’s Dumbass could use the same spell check rule of thumb as ole Abdul there.

You See…

Our Dumbass of the Day decided it would be a great time to steal a motorcycle and vandalize someone else’s property, so he did.

But before leaving the scene of the crime with the stolen motorcycle, our Dumbass decided to add insult to injury by painting some graffiti on the victim’s SUV. He scrawled the word “bicth” on the driver’s side door. This is where Spell Check would have come in handy.

Why is it that when criminals try to be clever, their efforts end in such epic fail? Because they are Dumbasses, that’s why! Who else but an honest to God Dumbass is capable of such idiocy? As if what he is doing isn’t vile and stoopid enough, he has to throw in the graffiti like that’s gonna make things worse?

The kicker is that he (the thief) has beclowned himself so bad by misspelling one simple word that when he gets caught, he’s gonna be the most popular guy in the county jail, iykwimaityd. Yes, fellow Dumbasses, prison “bicth”hood is just around the corner for this guy. And I bet he’ll squeal like a “bicth” too when Leon “Hung Like a Horse” Williams lays the “bicth” meat to his scrawny no-spellin’ ass.

Stoopid son of a “bicth”. And…

…Dumbass.

***Hat Tip to Dumbass Matthew Vaughn in Rockwall, Texas***

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