Category: Calendar

Nekkid Golfers, Mice-a-Roni & Dead Guy Dots The "I" at Ohio State

Mice-a-Roni

Best of Dumbass News

 
‘Tis the Sabbath and it’s gonna be a busy one here at the Dumbass Dome. Believe it or not, I am gonna do some gardening, indoors of course. For new readers, I live in Maine therefore November is not the best time to grow shit. Being the mule headed sumbitch I am, I like to try to do shit under adverse conditions just to see if I can make it work. I will make it work. Hence, gardening in November in Maine. I will prolly plant some cool weather stuff like lettuce. I would try to grow some warm weather crops, but my wife is a native Mainer and likes the house kept colder than a well digger’s ass in January. Adios good stuff like tomatoes and peppers until spring time. Asi es la vida.

Here is some stuff that doesn’t require heat, but it is loaded with fertilizer bullshit.

  • College Golf Team Poses for Nekkid CalendarThese dumbasses posed nekkid for the calendar, but they hid their gazebos with golf clubs. It’s funny stuff, so it’s worth the read just to see how many golfing metaphors I can use in lieu of cuss words.
  • Dead Guy Dots the EyeThis is a rather timely story, it being football season and all. This is the tale of a dead guy that pays his last respects to the Ohio State University by dotting the “i”. Read it to see what I mean.
  • Mice-a-Roni!Thank God this story wasn’t about Hamburger Helper. 

That’s a pretty good lineup for perusal during beer commercials for the NFL games being broadcast today, especially the “Dead Guy “I” dotter.

Here’s something that I should do every day, but I am a Dumbass and for whatever reason(s),  just forget to do it. In the side bar to the right you’ll find several buttons where you can follow me on several social media sites. Please do so! Don’t forget that I am a 55 year old guy who has 9 and 4 year old daughters who need something new, like shoes, clothes and all that shit, every 10 minutes. Well…it seems like every 10 minutes. And Christmas isn’t that far away. Having said that, also in right sidebar you’ll see a “Donate” button. I know times are tough for so many dumbasses worried about their own families, but if you can donate a dollar or two (any amount is welcome), it would make a Middle Aged Dumbass very happy and grateful. I guess I could use the direct approach to this donation thing as well.  

 
Dumbass.
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Golf Team Does Nekkid Calendar; Cleans Balls First

Hits Balls Like Nothing Else

BEST OF DUMBASS NEWS!

I have been in contact via Facebook with some long-time friends of mine back home in Texas who have kids starting college this fall. Their offspring will be attending fine universities like Texas A & M – Commerce and the University of Texas at Tyler. It’s probably a good thing that my friends are very involved with their kids’ education and helped the youngsters make a decision on the school that is right for them. My friends, and by extension their children, will be pleased that Bethany College in Kansas was not among their final choices of institutions of higher learning. Let me splain.

Not too long ago a few members of the men’s golf team at Bethany posed for a calendar. This was, however, no ordinary calendar! These young men posed nekkid using golf clubs to cover their gazebos and “putters”. Putzes. I have never posed for nekkid photos for a calendar or any other publication, but I used to be a scratch (no pun intended) golfer and I have gazebos. I therefore feel that I am qualified to inject (again no pun intended) my golfing and gazebo knowledge into this conversation.

When trying to conceal one’s “putter” for a photo, one should not use a putter (the golf club) in order to do so. The blade, of the putter would only hide a small portion of a man’s “putter”. Unless he has a small “putter”. One should also consider the loft of the club (the angle at which it connects to the shaft), (again no pun intended…OK…maybe the pun was intended on this one). A pitching wedge, for example, has a loft that would be unsatisfactory in hiding one’s “putter”. A 2 or 3 iron maybe, but not a wedge. My choice would be a driver or a Big Bertha. Both of these clubs have large heads (OK, ALL the puns were intended!) on them that would most likely cover all but the largest of “putters”. Of course, a head cover ( I kill myself) would be the most effective non-club option, but apparently that wasn’t one the choices for the photo shoot. For non-golfers, a club cover is a sock-like gizmo that fits over the club heads of the woods (bwahahahaha) in a set of golf clubs that protects the club head from the elements and scratches, etc. That’s the way I see it anyway.

These young men, their gazebos and “putters” (the clubs and non-clubs versions), were suspended from the first three tournaments in conference play for their shenanigans. Not for posing nude for the calendar, but for using the words “Bethany College” on it.

From the UPI story: 
School officials said the picture did not violate athletic regulations but the caption bore the words Bethany College, which officials said was an inappropriate use of the institution’s name. I just want to make sure they understand life choices and consequences.” Well hell! That cleared that right up, didn’t it? What would the staff at Bethany College do if one of their coeds was a stripper and wore a BC tank top while gettin’ neekid? I’m just askin’.

The golf team bogeyed this one and ended up stymied by the college. Such are the water hazards of life for young people. And par for the course.

Dumbasses.

Nekkididity, Dead Guy Dots the "I" and Mice-a-Roni!

Mice-a-Roni

‘Tis the Sabbath and it’s gonna be a busy one here at the Dumbass Dome. Believe it or not, I am gonna do some gardening, indoors of course. For new readers, I live in Maine therefore November is not the best time to grow shit. Being the mule headed sumbitch I am, I like to try to do shit under adverse conditions just to see if I can make it work. I will make it work. Hence, gardening in November in Maine. I will prolly plant some cool weather stuff like lettuce. I would try to grow some warm weather crops, but my wife is a native Mainer and likes the house kept colder than a well digger’s ass in January. Adios good stuff like tomatoes and peppers until spring time. Asi es la vida.

Here is some stuff that doesn’t require heat, but it is loaded with fertilizer bullshit.

  • College Golf Team Poses for Nekkid CalendarThese dumbasses posed nekkid for the calendar, but they hid their gazebos with golf clubs. It’s funny stuff, so it’s worth the read just to see how many golfing metaphors I can use in lieu of cuss words.
  • Dead Guy Dots the Eye – This is a rather timely story, it being football season and all. This is the tale of a dead guy that pays his last respects to the Ohio State University by dotting the “i”. Read it to see what I mean.
  • Mice-a-Roni! – Thank God this story wasn’t about Hamburger Helper. 

That’s a pretty good lineup for perusal during beer commercials for the NFL games being broadcast today, especially the “Dead Guy “I” dotter.

Here’s something that I should do every day, but I am a Dumbass and for whatever reason(s),  just forget to do it. In the side bar to the right you’ll find several buttons where you can follow me on several social media sites. Please do so! Don’t forget that I am a 55 year old guy who has 9 and 4 year old daughters who need something new, like shoes, clothes and all that shit, every 10 minutes. Well…it seems like every 10 minutes. And Christmas isn’t that far away. Having said that, also in right sidebar you’ll see a “Donate” button. I know times are tough for so many dumbasses worried about their own families, but if you can donate a dollar or two (any amount is welcome), it would make a Middle Aged Dumbass very happy and grateful. I guess I could use the direct approach to this donation thing as well. Hit the fucking tip jar, Dumbass!  🙂