Category: Cargo Hold

Dumabass in the Cargo Hold of a Jet

Dumbasses at Work or

Oh, boy, do we have a good dumbass story today! And it’s another dumbass on the plane story! A few days ago we posted this story on a pilot who fell asleep at the controls of a passenger jet. What you are about to read isn’t quite that stoopid, but it’s certainly a close second. Let me splain.

You’ve all sen the guys who put your luggage in the cargo hold of a jet. They have their little cart with all the suitcases on it and they (the baggage handlers) are charged with taking the luggage of the cart and onto the waiting plane. Sounds easy enough, right? Wrong you are turbulance breath! Recently at one of the airports in Washington, D.C., the luggage guys put all the suitcases and something else on the plane. By “something else” I mean a baggage handler”! What could possibly go wrong? This little incident begs the question, “How the hell can you put a guy in the cargo hold of a jet liner and not notice that something was amiss? I don’t know either, but the dumbasses at the Washington, D.C. airport evidently have it down to a science. Another question. Why in the name of all that is Holy was the guy so far inside the cargo hold that nobody could see him? Was the dumbass smoking a joint in there? Was he getting ready to take a nap? Or is he just a dumbass? I think you know my answer to that question.

Anyway, passengers on the jet heard some sounds coming from beaneath the floor of the passenger compartment of the plane and wisely alerted a stewardess, who then notified the Captain who then notified the ground crew that there was a dumbass in the cargo hold of the jet. Another small detail to this story is that the dumbass in the cargo hold is the guy who was supposed to drive the tractor-looking thing that pushes the jet into a position on the tarmac so it can taxi on the runway and  take off to its destination! Thanks to the alert passengers, the dumbass tractor-looking thing driver and luggage handler was freed from the cargo hold unharmed and he went on to push the plane from the gate and send it on its merry way.

After almost a full two minutes of thinking, I have determined that this event could be made into a little game that luggage handlers in airports all across the country play with their fellow luggage handling dumbasses. The object of the game would be to lock a luggage guy in the cargo hold of the plane then guess where he will end up when the plane reaches its destination! Of course, everybody would have to place a little money in a pot to be held in a secure place until the dumbass in the cargo hold calls and says, “Thanks, guys! I ended up in Honolulu! And fuck you all I ain’t coming back!” The fellow luggage dumbass who guessed closet to the actual place the stowaway landed would win the pot! Doesn’t that sound like fun? Don’t be surprised when this game of “Hide the Dumbass in the Cargo Hold” is a smash hit with luggage guys in airports nationwide! Dumbasses.

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