Category: Criminal

Dumbass Loses T-Shirt w/ His Photo On It at Crime Scene!

Before we get into today’s Dumbass News, I’d like to direct your attention to the “Dumbasses I Read” section located in the left side bar. There you’ll find a mess of blogs that I regularly read. Recently I have added some new sites that I think you’ll find interesting. As opposed to the shit you read here, these blogs are well-written and certainly worth adding to your bookmarks. But first, let me issue you a bit of a caveat – the people who write these blogs often use words with more than one syllable. I know that will be a challenge to you Dumbasses, but a visit to Dictionary.com will be of valuable assistance in helping you understand the nickel words. In some cases, Dictionary.com even has pictures to go with word definitions! Now quit yer bitchin’, read today’s story then hit up a few of the new sites in the blog roll. As a personal favor, I ask you to please click on an advertisement or two on each blog you visit. That means a few cents (literally) in each blogger’s cookie jar.

Thanks.
Fearless Leader

Best of Dumbass News

Over the course of the lifetime of this blog, we’ve had at least a couple of stories featuring dumbasses with tattoos have had run ins with the law. One dumbass thought he had won a radio station contest and had the station’s logo tattooed on his forehead. About a week ago we had another dumbass who committed a murder then had the facts of the killing tattooed all over his body! Today’s dumbass has taken a similar path to the Dumbass Zone.

Our Dumbass of the Day and one of his dipshit criminal cohorts broke into a couple’s home and in the process of the burglary, got into a struggle with the homeowner. The dumbass lost his t-shirt in the altercation and he and the dipshit got into their getaway car and split the scene. Enter the Police. Once at the crime scene, the cops found the t-shirt belonging to the dumbass and showed it to the homeowner. Printed on the shirt was…Wait. For. It….a picture of the dumbass! He robbed the home in a shirt with his own photo on it! bwahahahahaha! This guy has lowered the standard for dumbassery to a new low. What a fucking maroon! That’s as stoopid as a lion tamer covered in raw T-bones. Ay ay ay! The dumbass turned himself in to Police a couple of days later.

This incident sets a terrible example for future dumbasses who feel a life of crime is their calling. Young dumbasses, don’t be discouraged because one of your role models is a dumbass who practically left a business card at the scene of his misdeed. He’s now well on the way to becoming a top notch member of the State Prison Drop the Soap Team. And to think, in just a few years, or a felony or two, that could be you! Now go out there and become a role model to the young generation looking up to you! But don’t commit a crime in a shirt with your own photo plastered on it.

Dumbasses.

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Dumbass Leaves "Business Card" at Crime Scene

Over the course of the lifetime of this blog, we’ve had at least a couple of stories featuring dumbasses with tattoos have had run ins with the law. One dumbass thought he had won a radio station contest and had the station’s logo tattooed on his forehead. About a week ago we had another dumbass who committed a murder then had the facts of the killing tattooed all over his body! Today’s dumbass has taken a similar path to the Dumbass Zone.

Our Dumbass of the Day and one of his dipshit criminal cohorts broke into a couple’s home and in the process of the burglary, got into a struggle with the homeowner. The dumbass lost his t-shirt in the altercation and he and the dipshit got into their getaway car and split the scene. Enter the Police. Once at the crime scene, the cops found the t-shirt belonging to the dumbass and showed it to the homeowner. Printed on the shirt was…Wait. For. It….a picture of the dumbass! He robbed the home in a shirt with his own photo on it! bwahahahahaha! This guy has lowered the standard for dumbassery to a new low. What a fucking maroon! That’s as stoopid as a lion tamer covered in raw T-bones. Ay ay ay! The dumbass turned himself in to Police a couple of days later.

This incident sets a terrible example for future dumbasses who feel a life of crime is their calling. Young dumbasses, don’t be discouraged because one of your role models is a dumbass who practically left a business card at the scene of his misdeed. He’s now well on the way to becoming a top notch member of the State Prison Drop the Soap Team. And to think, in just a few years, or a felony or two, that could be you! Now go out there and become a role model to the young generation looking up to you! But don’t commit a crime in a shirt with your own photo plastered on it.

Dumbasses.

Siesta Dumbass

15 Strikes and you Live Here for Free

One of the cool things about writing on a blog like this is that dumbass never takes a vacation. I mean, how can it? There are over six billion people in this world, so odds are that there should be a few practicing dumbasses. I wish Vegas gave odds like that. For our dive into the dumpster of dumbassery today, we travel to that tropical paradise of Malaysia. A man in the city of Sungnai Nibong, which in Malaysian means “City of Dumbasses”, broke into a house while the owners were away. He ransacked the home and gathered up $3000 worth of loot. At this point, a non-dumbass burglar would have left the scene of the crime immediately, but this dumbass is not your ordinary burglar. Or your ordinary dumbass. Instead of robbing the home and leaving, this guy decides to… wait.for.it. take a nap! This gets better. While our sleeping beauty was taking his siesta, the homeowners returned to the house to find a strange car parked in the driveway. The dumbass burglar’s car! Upon entering their home, the owners found the dumbass crook asleep in their son’s room! The suspect woke up when he was discovered and fled the scene through a bedroom window and was apprehended a short time later. It’s not a surprise that this idiot would find trouble. He has fourteen previous convictions for various criminal and drug offenses. Who’d a thunk it? Drugs? This dumbass? To my way of thinking, the bigger dumbasses in regards to this man are the stupid fuckers in the justice system responsible for not putting the dipshit in jail and giving the key the old heave ho. Oh, well…such is life. My advice to any future dumbass crooks out there is : next time you feel the need to break and enter and get the urge to sleep before eluding the authorities, DON’T! Or you, too, could be only fourteen more strikes away from actually going to jail. Dumbass.