Category: Deltona

Guy Riding Bus to Work: There Goes My Girlfriend’s Stolen Car!

High Old Silver!

Karma. Is. A. Bitch.

1537.33 southbound miles from where I sit typing this story is Deltona, Florida, the scene of one of the biggest “what goes around comes around” in the History of Man. Sit back and enjoy the ride. It’s a doozy.

Billy Joe and Bobbie Sue

Our story today starts with the saga of two young lovers with nothing better to do (<—gratuitous Steve Miller Band Lyrics Stealing) than to steal a car. So they steal a car from a girl named Cara. The victim did everything she was supposed to by calling the police and notifying her insurance company of the theft. Cara was pissed off at the turn of events and all the bullshit that she’d have to go through in order to replace her stolen car. She should have been pissed at herself because she was a dumbass. She left her car unlocked, practically begging for someone to take her wheels. Worse yet, Cara left her keys in the car! She might as well have put up a neon sign that read “Keys in Car! Steal it Now!”.

But, soon, very soon, things would get better.

The two young lovers with nothing better to do Aaron and Amber, were celebrating their recent heist by taking a leisurely cruise around Deltona when they happened upon a bus. This was no ordinary bus. On board the bus was the boyfriend of the woman whose car was stolen! Like many bus passengers, the boyfriend was observing the beautiful Deltona scenery when something even more beautiful caught his eye. His girlfriend’s car driving right along in traffic with the bus! A quick call to 9-1-1 got almost instance results.

Busted

The cops caught up with the two young lovers with nothing better to do, pulled them over and found that swiping a car was the least of the pair’s troubles. After further searching of the pilfered automobile, the lawmen discovered several stolen credit and debit cards. A little added insult is the fact that the guy driving it had a suspended driver’s license! On top of that Aaron’s (the male half of the two young lovers with nothing better to do) girlfriend squealed on him to the cops like a pig with his snout stuck in a bear trap. Aaron will now do the squealing as he enters his new avocation as a prison bitch.

The couple had been going all over Deltona breaking in to cars and stealing shit, Cara was the only one stoopid enough to leave her car unlocked and the keys in it. Now she had her car back, no fuss, no muss. Lady Luck was smiling on Cara on this day and Karma the Bitch bit the two young lovers with nothing better to do smack dab on the ass.

Some People Have All the Luck

I hope Cara bought herself a Lotto ticket that day. The odds of what happen ed happening are something 39 gazillion to 1. I also hope Cara learned a valuable lesson about leaving the keys in her car.

As for the two young lovers with nothing better to do, they are now not two young lovers nor do they have nothing to do. I don’t think I’m going out on a limb here in thinking that Aaron and Amber will have plenty to do for a stretch of 5 – 15. Guarding their privates and asses comes to mind. And learning new inmate-inspired nicknames. “Peaches” for him. “Spike” for her. I’m just sayin’.

Dumbasses.

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