Category: Demolition

"OK, Guys Let’s Tear the House Down" Oooops, Wrong House

Here’s something for you dumbasses to chew on today besides pork rinds. I wrote this a while back, so it’ll be a good rerun for the long-time readers and something new and shiny for our new dumbasses.  Warning: Do not watch football until you have read this post. If you do, all your future children and/or grandchildren will be born nekkid.  <——–A little East Texas Mojo there. har har! Dumbasses. 🙂 Have a decent Sunday!

Dumbass Contractor Tears Down Wrong House!

This is one of those stories that come around every so often and it makes you go WTF? Watch the video, then I’ll have my usual brilliant-for-a-dumbass insight, commentary,name-calling and finger-pointing. In other words, we’ll get to the the fun stuff!

To review…the guy had been doing some home improvement work on his home then went on vacation for a week. He comes back home to find his house is gone like yesterday and he is now the proud owner of a hay-covered lot. The house nextdoor was the one scheduled to be torn down. As Maxwell Smart would say, “Missed it by that much!” A couple of solutions come to mind. Solution No.1: buy a goat. Goats love hay. Solution No.2: Become the proud of of all the heavy equipment a man could ever want. To achieve this objective, the dude must retain counsel and sue the dumbass contractor into oblivion! Since goats are probably not aloowed in the city limits, suing the dumbass that wrongly demolished your home after being advised by the city in writing not to do so (!) seems to be the last remaining legal remedy the homewoner has. Kicking the contractor’s ass from Pittsburgh to Philadelphia is the most satisfying, but felonious, retribution. And when the word “felony” and my (your,his,her) name are inexorably linked, I tend to calm down rather quickly and seek the less violent and less fun solution to the problem. I think the homeowner will take that path as well. If there are any construction-type readers out there in the Pittsburgh area, keep an eye on your local newsrag’s classifieds. I have a sneaky feeling there will be a big sale on all sorts of stuff you need at reasonable prices very soon. There will also be less competition in your town because there will one less dumbass to bid against. And one brand spankin’ new home to build for the poor man whose house was obliterated by a dumbass. Things could have been worse, though. The homeowner could have been alseep in the house at the time it was torn down. Just sayin’.

Dumbasses.

Advertisements

Missed It By THAT Much!

Originally posted January 8, 2011

This is one of those stories that come around every so often and it makes you go WTF? Watch the video, then I’ll have my usual brilliant-for-a-dumbass insight, commentary,name-calling and finger-pointing. In other words, we’ll get to the the fun stuff!

To review…the guy had been doing some home improvement work on his home then went on vacation for a week. He comes back home to find his house is gone like yesterday and he is now the proud owner of a hay-covered lot. The house nextdoor was the one scheduled to be torn down. As Maxwell Smart would say, “Missed it by that much!” A couple of solutions come to mind. Solution No.1: buy a goat. Goats love hay. Solution No.2: Become the proud of of all the heavy equipment a man could ever want. To achieve this objective, the dude must retain counsel and sue the dumbass contractor into oblivion! Since goats are probably not aloowed in the city limits, suing the dumbass that wrongly demolished your home after being advised by the city in writing not to do so (!) seems to be the last remaining legal remedy the homewoner has. Kicking the contractor’s ass from Pittsburgh to Philadelphia is the most satisfying, but felonious, retribution. And when the word “felony” and my (your,his,her) name are inexorably linked, I tend to calm down rather quickly and seek the less violent and less fun solution to the problem. I think the homeowner will take that path as well. If there are any construction-type readers out there in the Pittsburgh area, keep an eye on your local newsrag’s classifieds. I have a sneaky feeling there will be a big sale on all sorts of stuff you need at reasonable prices very soon. There will also be less competition in your town because there will one less dumbass to bid against. And one brand spankin’ new home to build for the poor man whose house was obliterated by a dumbass. Things could have been worse, though. The homeowner could have been alseep in the house at the time it was torn down. Just sayin’.

There’s No Place Like Home (Or Where It Used to Be)

It pains me to say that even my home state of Texas is not immune from the disease that is dumbass-itis. Granted, while they are probably dumbasses from faraway lands, like New Jersey, they are still dumbasses while invading residing in Texas. Here’s the deal: the City of Denton had ordered that a house at (fictional address) 10 Main Street be repaired or demolished because of various violations of city codes like unkept lawns and junk cars decorating said unkept lawns. You know, the Fred G. Sanford Yard look. Having given the owner of the property more than adequate notice and warning of what could happen if he failed to comply with city code, the house and yard were never brought up to snuff. The City of Denton then ordered the house to be demolished. The City went through the proper channels and scheduled the demolition of 10 Maine Street. Demolition crews were notified and on the appointed date went to 10 Main Street and began to destroy the house. There was one small problem. The demo guys were given the wrong address! The house that was being torn down was number 11Main Street! Number 10 Main was across the street! Turns out a 69 year old lady who lived at 11 Main had been there for forty-seven years was now homeless. She, fortunately, had a son who lived in nearby Frisco and now lives with him. There is no word as to how the Little Old Lady was compensated for her loss, but I am sure there were plenty of ambulance chasing lawyers who run cheesy ads on TV beating a path to her new door to make sure she’s not ripped off. To top it all off, the owner of the house supposed to have been obliterated, had no comment on the turn of events. I  have a comment for you, pal. Are you from New Jersey? Dumbass.