Category: Detroit

The little d, A Once Great City Is Full of Dumbasses

A soaring crime rate, an unemployment rate higher than many of its residents’ IQs, corrupt dumbasses running the place and maybe the highest dumbass to normal people ratio in the country. Other than that, Detroit is a regular paradise. I am not here to make fun of the hard working, respectable populace of the city (as few as that may be), I am here to belittle and amuse myself at the expense of the many dumbasses who populate The little d. You know the people I’m talking about. The ones that elect corrupt bastards to public office time after time after time and expect the sons of bitches to do something that actually benefits the voters who elected them. Recent examples include Marcia Conyers, a convicted felon and the mayor Kwame Whateverthefuckhisnameis, who was convicted of accepting bribes (I think). The guy looked more like a pimp than a respectable elected official. I could go on, but, out of compassion, I’ll stop there. My point is that other than the pro athletes, the guys on TV who run that big ass pawn shop and are getting richer by the day with the money of the felon-electing dumbasses, and the above-mentioned respectable citizens, Detroit is a fucking hell hole.

Another way that Detroit shows that is a loser of a town is the continued support so many of its residents give to the Dumbass in Chief in DC, despite the fact that his policies are crippling their city. Take for instance Sam Bazzi. Sam owns some gas stations in The little d that used to have nice names like Texaco, Exxon or Shell. But Sam is one of the dumbasses that make Detroit what it is…Haiti North. Sam re-named his gas stations “Obama”. I shit you not. Here’s part of the story from UPI, Two years on, amid a decline in the economy, Bazzi said he doesn’t think Obama’s name and face on his business has any negative impact.

1) His customers tend to agree, saying they don’t blame the president for rising gas prices.

2) “No, I can’t do that,” customer Famous Ellis said. “He’s doing everything he can to help us out.”

3) Another customer said there are better ways to combat rising gas prices than just assigning blame.

4)”More than anything, we need to get those electric cars out here,” Monte Harris said. “With that, we don’t need to worry about gas that much.”

I don’t need to point out the obvious dumbassery in those quotes. that would be beating a dead horse. On the other hand, maybe I do. In the order of the comments, here are my rebuttals:

1) Funny that these same dumbass dickweeds blamed George W. Bush every time gas went up a penny. Obama has blocked drilling in places that could get us off our dependence on foreign oil in fairly short order. But it’s not Obama’s fault, you see. These people are dumbasses.

2) He’s doing everything he can to help you? What the hell are these dumbfucks smoking? Obama has put this country $14 trillion dollars in debt. That asshole ain’t helping you, idiot, he’s squishing your city like a fucking cockroach. Does the government/union take over of GM and Chrysler ring a bell? fucking moron.

3) Again, you blamed Bush, why not blame Obama? Oh, that’s right, he’s black. It would be raaaaacist to blame him for anything, no matter the evidence that says otherwise looking you right in your dumbass face.

4) Get electric cars out there and we wouldn’t need that much gas? If that were possible right now, I’d agree, but it ain’t happening for a while. I have three words that will blast this dumbass comment out of the water. “Drill, baby, drill.” Now shut up, dipshit. You are a waste of skin.

Sam (remember him?) ain’t gonna change the names of his gas stations, even if Obama loses the 2012 election. Sam, I have some news for you. You won’t have to worry about changing the name of your stations if Odumbass wins re-election. They’ll be closed down shortly after the election! The unemployed of Detroit won’t be getting jobs anytime soon and the Dumbass in Chief ain’t gonna deviate from his Socialist agenda either. Simply put, you Detroiters are getting fucked by the very man you praise. Open your damned eyes! Dumbasses.


The Little D is Run By the Big D A’s

A Once Proud City is in Shambles

Detroit. Motown. Motor City. Dumbass-ville. This is one of the most crime-ridden cities in America, with an unemployment rate of about 82% (that’s a slight exaggeration) , infrastructure crumbling all around the place, some of the crookedest bastards in the world holding elective office (Marsha Conyers the former big politico is in the slammer as we speak for corruption as is the former Mayor), the automobile industry is going to hell as the UAW runs General Motors now and the United States Gubmint, under the steady hand of President Obama (you can stop laughing now) keeps pumping billions upon billions of your tax dollars to keep the same crooked bastards running Detroit in power and the corrupt bastards who stay in power screw the average citizen in Detroit like a fucking Black and Decker power drill.

Then today I learned that the city sent out incorrect property tax bills, not once but twice! Twice the dumbasses! The City sent out incorrect property tax bills to 60,000 homeowners and none at all to thousands more homeowners. Throwing a little more gas on the fire, another 58,000 tax statements were sent out in November. Those statements underestimated the amount of property tax due the City of Detroit. Knowing all this, there is absolutely no underestimating the depth of dumbass in the dipshits runnimng the city. The Detroit Free Press said it had received over 2000 phone calls from pissed off people who paid the tax amount stated on the November statements, only to find out later that they still owed taxes! “We whine that we’re broke, but we can’t get the tax bills correct?” ombudsman Durene Brown asked. “What’s wrong with this picture? People could lose their homes over this.”The rest of the article from UPI reads thusly, The deadline to pay city taxes is Wednesday, but thousands of residents still have received no bill, Brown said. “In all of the years I’ve lived in Detroit, this is the first time I didn’t get a bill,” said Mark Janusch, 63. “You’d think the city, with all of its financial problems, would jump at the chance to collect property taxes.”  Don’t worry, Mr. Janusch, the stupid fucks running Detroit will make up for their screw ups by raising taxes on everyone to offset the discrepancy. That’s how liberals do business. Dumbasses.

And the fuckers of mothers in power will be stand by with a stop watch to repo your house if you are a little late in paying your property taxes. The citizens of Detroit should keep throwing the dumbasses out office until they get the city government they are entitled to. A once proud city is a mere shell of it’s former self thanks to their elected represenatives and their cronies. Grow a pair, Detroit! Those sons of motherless goats work for you, not you for them! So fuck them. Dumbasses.

Dumbass Underwear Bomber Is a Dumbass Lawyer, Too

Splodey Dope

There’s an old saying that goes like this: “he who is his own lawyer has a dumbass for a client”, or something like that. This old adage applies doubly to the so-called “Underwear Bomber”, Umar Farouk Abdulmutallab, who from this point on we’ll simply call Umar, or dumbass, as they are interchangeable. You remember this guy, don’t you? He’s the dumbass that tried to blow up an airplane headed for Detroit last Christmas Day with explosives in his Fruit of the Looms! See? I told you that “Umar” and “dumbass” are interchangeable. At a pre-trial hearing Umar chose to represent himself in court. Nothing says dumbass quite like a terrorist who tries to ‘splode a plane with TNT in his draws to get his 72 raisins (or is that virgins?) and then goes on to be his own lawyer in a trial that could end up with him being Leon’s prison bitch for the rest of his life and then on to Hell where he gets cornholed by Satan and his demonic minions for eternity.Slick move, ExLax.

Umar is from Nigeria, the ‘Splodin’ Underwear Capital of the World and a global leader in the exportation of dumbasses. Umar is also a black man and a Muslim. Regarding his race and religion, I don’t care if was a green Amish-Catholic-Baptist, I bring those facts up for a couple of reasons. Where the hell are Jesse Jackson and/or Al Sharpton and/or the Council on American Islamic Relations? Or Johnny Cochran? Oh, wait, Johnny’s in the Big Court Room in the Sky, so scratch him off the list. This guy, Umar, on the surface, is guilty as sin. The guy was caught, er, red handed with his crotch on fire when his bomb failed to ‘splode. All these dumbasses, except CAIR, stood by OJ Simpson and screamed racism when they knew that bastard was guilty as hell. I guess there aren’t enough white guys in Detroit to blame for this blatant bigotry. Heh.

I’d like to wish Umar a nice stay in the Federal lockup where some of the first English words he’ll learn are “You dropped the soap, Umy-poo.” and “squeal like pig, bitch”, or to be more tolerant since Umy-poo is a Moose limb, “squeal like a billy goat”. I forgot pork isn’t halal, or lawful, to Moose limbs. Dumbasses.