Well, Thanksgiving has come and gone and we are steamrolling our way like Michael Moore after a triple decker bacon cheeseburger towards one of the Holiest days on the Christian calendar. I am speaking, of course, of New Years Eve! Yes, fellow Dumbasses, New Years Eve, a day when even the most devout among us partake of the Devil’s Water and perform stunts that they would condemn to hell anybody else who reveled in such a demonic way. Yes, this same self-righteous bastard who would wish you an eternity of wailing and the gnashing of teeth, will be running around on New Years Eve with a lamp shade on his head, his gazebos exposed in all their glory to reveal a temporary tattoo that reads “2012”.Let’s just hope for the dumbass’ sake that nobody tries to “pull the string” to see if “2012” lights up. I’m fairly certain that the idiot would light up like the National Christmas Tree if “the string were pulled”. I’m just sayin’.
What I am Thankful For
I am thankful you, fellow Dumbasses, each and every one of you from 120 countries around the globe. From Afghanistan to Zimbabwe and all countries and letters of the alphabet in between, I love you all. Even the Aggies. Side note for Aggies: 27-25. Have fun getting your asses handed to you in the SEC next year. It was fun for 118 years. Tradition-killing assholes. And I say that with love in my heart. Hook ’em Horns!
We now return you to your normal Dumbass Programming…I never knew that there that many dumbasses in that many countries. Now if I could get a few of you dumbasses in each of those 120 countries to support me in my effort to bring you the finest Dumbass News & Commentary to be found on the web. By support, I don’t mean moral support, I mean hit the damn “Donate” button on the top right of the sidebar. I’m not asking for $100 a month from you. $5 a month from a lot of you would “encourage” me enough to continue writing this shit despite what PETA and Moose Limbs think. Remember, I am your Standard Bearer, your Fearless Leader, the only guy you know who’s stoopid enough to write this drivel on a daily basis and I am the Head Dumbass! Besides, I need a new laptop. The one I am using now was ruined when I spilled Spam Soup all over the keyboard and into the guts of the machine. It ain’t a purty sight.
One More Quick Thing – Don’t forget soon we’ll be naming our 2nd Annual Dumbass of tthe Year before you know it, so go through the blog archives and pick out your nominee. Email nominations to realdumbassnews AT gmail DOT com or leave them in the comments. There are dozens of worthy candidates for this prestigious honor, so choose carefully, grass-hoppah.
- The Cursing Doll. A Dumbass Christmas gift if there ever was one. Read about the little bimbo right here.
- Do your neighbors complain that your big ass flat panel TV and home theater system are disturbing them at all hours? Show the whiny bastards this story , then tell them to shut the fuck up and be grateful that they don’t live near that monstrosity.
- There are few people more rude and sneering, knowing they have your life in their hands, than state DMV workers. Ohio DMV employees are the cream of the crop, or as we in Dumbassville say, the green turd in the punch bowl.
Get those Dumbass of the Year nominations in soon and enjoy the rest of the holiday weekend. And hit the damn “Donate” button!
Dumbasses still pervade our society and there are a million stories to be brought to light. I will be doing that again beginning Monday morning. I am grateful for those of you who have kept reading during my absence. Your support for me is something I don’t take for granted and I never will. I have had some medical issues to deal with over the last week that have put a temporary hold on blogging. But, I will be back!
This would be a great time for you to hit my tip jar so I can defray some of the medical expenses I am incurring. But if you decide to do that, please donate on the PayPal button on Three States Plus One.
Thanks to all you dumbasses for your support. The Head Dumbass (me) is humbled by it all.
Adios and hit the Tip Jar!
Toby, Head Dumbass
|It’s a New Category 🙂|
I am a proud man. Despite the circumstances of life that have, at times, beat me down, I have always been able to fight back and kick ass and take names. I can no longer do that so easily. The time has come for me to put my pride aside and do something that I never wanted nor expected to do. I am going to ask you, the reader, to consider making a donation to my PayPal Account. It’s safe and secure and I use them myself and I don’t take online security lightly. In my opinion, PayPal keeps your information safe and secure. I hope that allays any concerns you might have.
Here’s the Deal: First off, let me tell you that I expect no sympathy nor do I ask for any. I am simply asking you to consider making a donation because I have worked very hard to make my blogs better each day. True, my readership has grown by leaps and bounds, but that doesn’t necessarily translate into any income for me. I understand that that’s the way blogging is, so I am not blind nor ignorant to such facts. I do my blogs for fun but with the idea of making a little money, too. So far, I have readers in at 97 countries, but as of this point, no cash flow. Many small independent bloggers experience this type of situation, so what am I doing is not out of line, it’s just humbling and embarrassing. However, I have to swallow my pride and present to you the facts about my current situation and you can make your decision.
Here’s the Deal, Part II: If you’ve made it this far, thank you for sticking with me. My lifestyle has dramatically changed over the last year or so. I have been diagnosed with rheumatoid arthritis and fibromyalgia and each has gotten progressively worse. I am able to walk (just barely), but I’m sure I’ll need a wheelchair or something to get around very soon. It’s hard for me dress myself and sometimes my wife has to help me tie my shoes. Worse yet, soon I won’t be able to walk a creek bank where Fish.Fear.Me. I can’t play with my 4 year old little girl like a “normal” Daddy and that hurts me worse than anything. Hell, it hurts like a son of a bitch just to sit here and type this post. I go on, but I think you get the idea.
If your able to throw in a couple of bucks, just click on the PayPal Donate button in the right sidebar and you’ll be prompted to so what needs to be done from there. Let me remind that I am simply asking for a little help, but if you wanna hit the Tip Jar with enough to buy a new bass boat, that’s cool too. LOL
I am grateful for each one of you and whether or not you hit the Tip Jar will in no way affect my sincere appreciation for your continuing readership. Besides, I wouldn’t know who donated what anyway.
Thank you for helping my dream of the TexNetMaine Blogging Empire getting closer, day by day, to becoming player in the blogosphere. Without you, I would be an awful lonely voice way out there in the ether.
Toby, CEO and a Bunch of Other Letters That are Meant to Be Impressive, but I am simply The Head Dumbass of the TexNetMaine Blogging Empire