It’s time again for Great Names in Dumbass History (Even If You Are Not a Dumbass)!
A couple of months ago, I did a post on Dumbass Baby Names that garnered quite a bit of attention. Therefore, I thought it might be a good idea to find some of those Dumbass Baby Names that are now dumbass names of full grown adults.
I found some.
If you have a Facebook account you undoubtedly get a lots of posts from your friends that feature “greeting cards” from someecards. These are post card-looking images that have a pithy quote on them. Some are pretty good while others are just plain dumbass.
Today, we’ll focus on the dumbass ones. Dumbass name ones to be exact.
Below you’ll find a list of actual names of actual people who for some reason or the other did not, when they had every right to, mutilate their parents upon understanding the dumbassery behind their monikers.
I don’t make ’em up, folks. I just make fun of ’em.
Here We Go
That should be an interesting erec—I mean election. And whatever you do, do not move to any town named Urbandale. I’m just sayin’.
This one should be glad her first name is not Poulet-fusee. Think about it.
Vote for this guy!
This guy is a cop. I got nuthin’. Except, don’t move to Middletown either.
Dumbass names are found all around the World of Sports…for example:
That’ll leave a skid mark.
I remember this guy from the National Hockey League:
His cousin is Wolfgang Von Toggleswitch. OK, I made that one up.
And my personal favorite!
From the looks of things, she might Vanna Womandic, too.
I’m just sayin’.
***Thanks to HappyPlace.com (Seymour at the link) for the Images***
As great a Research Assistant as Mrs. Fearless Leader is, there’s only so much she can do in helping to bring you the absolute best, or worst, depending on your perspective, Dumbass News available on the intar tubes. I wish I had a dozen of her. But she nixed the cloning idea out of hand as, as she put it it, “a bunch of bullshit, you motherfucker.” She’s direct and to the point when she’s nice to me like that.
I say this because the people at the HuffPo are lucky to have some stoopid fuck with more money than brains as an employer. I am sure they have all the latest technology and a handful of Dumbasses to gather stoopid shit from around the net. Why do you think that I
steal use them as a starting point for so much of what I write about? They get all the good stuff, that’s why! I just make it better.
The rat bastids.
But I still got Mrs. Fearless Leader. And she’s the best in the bidness.
Screw HuffPo. In a metaphorical kind of way, of course.
But I digress.
Dumbass Spew Alert: Be Seated and Consume No Liquids
Usually the dip shits who commit these acts of Dumbassery have normal-type names, like John Smith or ray Freeman. However! Thanks to the Dumbass department at HuffPuffIDipSnuff, i am glad to report that there are some Bad Guys out there with names only belong to a Dumbass!
A guy in South Florida was recently invited to be a guest of the Miami-Dade County Crossbar Hilton after he pulled a Felony Trifecta (assault, resisting an officer, probation violation & more). His name? (Ad Lib Spew Alert Reminder!) Jackmeoff Mudd! I kid you not!
But wait! There’s more!!!
In Wisconsin, a Dumbass got busted for a bunch of stuff. His handle (and I ain’t makin’ this up!) is Beezow Doo-Doo Zopittybop-Bop-Bop.
These two numbnuts are only the beginning of the Dumbasses with Dumbass Names Class of ’12. There is also Leonard G. Dickman and Donald Duck. Daniel Noody, Draco Slaughter (a bomb scare guy) and Joseph Moron also make the list
We can’t discount Dalcapone Alpaccino Morris, sex offender Mister Love or Tyrannusaurus Rex Mullens, also a pervert who should be strung up by the gazebos until he is grave yard dead and agood ole Patrick Molesti who is just an ordinary Dumbass Crook, not a sex offender.
If you’d appreciate a belly laugh or two, click on over to the HuffPo slide show featuring outstanding Dumbass photos of our Inaugural Group of Dumbasses with Dumbass Names (Class of ’12). It’s worth the look.