Category: Dumbasses

"Sweet Cheeks" – Prison Bitch

Dumbass Detector

Origianlly Posted April15, 2011

What’s with all the dumbass criminals today? I mean it seems like we never hear of bad guys that at least have an IQ above that of a steaming pile of dog poop. maybe that’s why so many crooks are called “shit for brains”, I don’t know. So many of the dumbasses we hear about today are the ones whose sisters and brothers are also their aunts, uncles, and cousins rolled into one. I. Just. Don’t. Get. It.

One would think that even the most dumbass of dumbasses would know that technology today is some how going to record your every damn move, especially when you commit a crime. Why in the hell do you think that the security Room at your local WalMart looks like NORAD in there? These businesses are serious about this shit. Shinki’s Nail Salon in Queens,NY is no exception. Shinki’s doesn’t have all the latest surveillance equipment, but they do have a small security camera, which I presume made it an easy target for a dumbass crook like Kevin Cheeks. Cheeks robbed the place and thought he had it made when he jumped in the owner’s van, stole it and went about his merry way. This is where technology comes into this story. The van had a GPS unit in it! Kevin’s freedom was about to become a short-lived thing. Cops used the van’s GPS to follow Cheeks all around NYC until they caught up with him and busted his sorry, criminal dumb ass. Kevin’s “reward” for robbing four people of their valuables and Shinki’s of $300 cash was to be found guilty by a jury of his peers in less than two hours. Now Kevin’s little excursion into the life of crime will cost him up to twenty years in prison.

Kevin, however, will never be lonely as our favorite inmate Leon “Hung Like a Horse” Williams has been notified of Mr. Cheeks’ impending arrival at prison. Leon is very excited to have some what he calls “fresh meat”, that he has a cute new nickname for Kevin when he finally gets to the Big House. Sweet Cheeks. Not Kevin Cheeks anymore. Sweet Cheeks. Sweet Cheeks, you are for the next twenty years Leon’s little play pretty. Have a nice day!

Dumbass.

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Climate Change Causes Mental Illness! Billions Will Become Dumbasses!

Climate Change Sufferers Now Being Accepted

What catastrophe is Climate Change (CC), Global Warming (GW), whatever it’s called this week, not responsible for? Today alone, I have read that it’s this generation’s racism according to Algore, brush fires, the obliteration of polar bears due to the melting of the Polar Ice Cap, in spite of the fact that there are now more polar bears today than in any other time in modern history and the Polar Ice Cap is growing, not melting, and the BIG news today is that CC (Climate Change) is causing mental illness among hundreds of millions of Earthlings. We’re all going to be psychos !!!!!eleventy111!!!

Now, as someone who has a couple of forms of mental health issues, I can assure you, at least from my own point of view, that GW, nor any other form of weather/climate change, has made one iota of difference in the severity (good or bad) of my mental health. I have had these conditions for most of my life. Not even the “climate scare” of the 1970’s (the coming of the New Ice Age) according to Time Magazine, June 24, 1974, nor the coming (already here?) incineration of the Earth due to GW has caused me to eat children or hate minorities. For you “normal” people out there, you are the ones who will join me in the Fruit Loops Club as Mental Defectives. How can I claim such a thing? It’s on the internet so it must be true! Don’t believe me? This article in the Sydney (Australia) Morning Herald backs me up…even though I know it’s a bunch of Liberal Weenie/EnviroNazi Fear Mongering BS. It’s a short column, so take a few seconds to peruse it.

If you’ve read this blog for any period of time, you know that I am just being a dumbass. Man-caused CC is a bunch of bullshit. It’s a scheme for our “betters” like Algore to make millions of dollars by scaring the hell out of a bunch of real dumbasses, not the “good” dumbasses like you and me. Fear mongering and scare tactics are the modus operandi of dipshits like Algore. Think about this: Algore flies all over the world in a private jet spewing tons of CO2 and other pollutants into the atmosphere with each trip he takes. He has a mansion in Tennessee that uses as much energy as 100’s of normal homes! Al the Dickweed spits forth the fact that sea levels are rising at an alarming rate, but guess what? He bought a multi-million dollar pad on the beach in California! Is Algore stoopid enough to buy such a home if the sea levels are truly rising so rapidly? He’s an asshole, scam artist and a hypocrite but he ain’t stoopid. He thinks you are stoopid. And he got rich off a shitload of stoopid fucks pandering his Climate Change crap.

Having said all that, there must be some truth to the CC causes mental illness. Just look at how wealthy the pea brains who believe in this fantasy made Algore and his ilk. They must be completely insane to fall for such a fucking hoax.

Dumbasses.

Dumbasses Make Their Mothers Proud

When I posted this on December 31, I was a mad Son of a Truck Driver. I was so mad, upon further review, I am still pissed off. But, I digress.

Read the post and you’ll see hwy I was so furious. Not your normal pissed off where you get a little agitated about something and after a few minutes things return to normal. I am talking PISSED OFF!

Let me splain.

Heather, the girls and I went to the supermarket to pick up a few things. We got what we needed and went back to the car to split the scene. While we were loading the kids and groceries into the car, a lady using a cane as an aid to walk asked at least two men for help because her car wouldn’t start. This lady was about 50 years old and, come to find out she was with her Mother who was 75 if she was a day. The car turned out to be the little old lady’s. But , I digress. Neither of the men the lady with the cane asked for help hurriedly said, “Sorry, I can’t help you.” One of these dumbasses was driving a truck the size of New Jersey and I had a sneaky suspicion that he probably had some jumper cables somewhere inside that behemoth of a pick up. The other dumbass just kept going like nobody had even spoken to him. Fuckers.

Anyway, when the lady with the cane got turned down by the dumbass in the big truck, a look of semi-panic crossed her face. I said , “Ma’am. Let me load my kids up and I’ll be glad to help”. You’d would have thought that the nice lady had won the lottery the smile on her face was so big and the obvious sense of relief that somebody would help her and her Mother get their car started. I hooked up the jumper cables to both cars and BINGO!, their car started. Before they left, the older lady came over and gave me a bear hug. Well, as much a bear hug as a little old lady five foot-nothin’ tall could give someone. You know, that was the best hug I’d had all day.

Now for the two dumbasses and all the dipshits like them, KISS MY ASS! Your Mothers would be ashamed that a son of theirs that would just dismiss an elderly lady’s plea for help as just an inconvenience or what ever in God’s name you were thinking. The next little old lady that needs a jump start may be your Mother or maybe your wife, God forbid. You’d just better hope that a better man than either of you two dumbasses is there to help them out. Come to think of it, your wife wouldn’t be too proud to have married an asshole like you if she knew the way you treated the two ladies at the supermarket who needed help. Have a lousy fucking day you dickweeds. Your Mothers must be so proud. Dumbasses.

San Francisco is Full of McDumbasses

I have been puzzled by something for many years now, and it continues to befuddle me to this very day. How in the name of all that is Holy could one of the most beautiful cities in the world be inhabited by some of the dumbest sons of bitches to ever breathe the air of this planet? A place where the Dumbass is so thick, you could cut it with a block of tofu. I am speaking , of course, of San Francisco. I have been to San Francisco just once and that was to be picked up at the airport, so I didn’t spend any time in the city. But my experience at the airport has scarred me for life. How so?, you ask. This is how so. I had just gotten off the plane and was headed to the Luggage Eater Turbo 5000 to get my suitcase, when one of those golf cart on steroids thingies trying break the sound barrier came zooming by me. The cart was manned by two Oriental guys. No problem…until the souped up golf cart thingy came to a stop and these two young Oriental guys started kissing! Right in the middle of the airport! I mean these two guys were playing some serious Tonsil Hockey. Having seen that, I went to the nearest airport bar and drank several beers to forget what I had just seen. Then I realized that there ain’t enough booze in San Fran to get me drunk enough to unsee that. What I saw can not be unseen! Don’t get me wrong. If these two guys wnated to do the Tonsil Hockey mambo, that’s fine with me. But please don’t do that shit in public! I am telling you this story to lay the groundwork for the main idea of this post: San Francisco is a fucked up city.

Here’s the deal: One of the questions on the recent election ballot in San Francisco was something like “Do you want to ban toys in Happy Meals in our fucked up city?”. What the fuck? You mean to tell me that the local government in San Fransissy has nothing more pressing on their fucked up city’s to do list than to ban toys in Happy Meals? Slap me down and call me Shorty. Has it really come to this, where the city government can ban a frakkin’ toy in a Happy Meal? If I’m Mc Donalds, I’m packing up my Quarter Pounder with Cheese and gettin’ the hell outta there. The reasoning behind this dumbass decision according to HotAir.com: Under the ban agreed in a preliminary vote Tuesday, restaurants in San Francisco would have to provide fruit and vegetables with meals accompanied by free toys, according to the San Francisco Chronicle…” Speaking of fruits…each year in San Frasissy, they hold an event called “Folsom Street Fair”. Sounds innocent enough, doesn’t it? Folsom Street Fair is the furthest thing in the world from innocence. WARNING: What you are about to see is sickening. If you are easily offended, then DO NOT click the following link. Consider yourself warned and proceed at your own risk. Ban the toys in Happy Meals and let this stuff go on unimpeded! This is allowed. Toys in Happy Meals are not.
I’ll bet you a dollar that if McDonalds put a McDildo in their Happy Meals, there would be no complaint whatsoever. Dumbasses.

These are the same people that keep electing dumbasses like Nancy Pelosi to Congress over and over again. For one of the few times in my life, I am speechless. And nauseated. California is a beautiful place with much history and natural beauty. It’s this side (ban the toys and Folsom Street) of California, that people see and remember and that’s very sad to me. Maybe some day…..

Dumbasses.

**Photo from unionstreetinn.com**