It’s always tons of fun when we get to go to Florida for some good old fashioned Dumbassery. It’s even more fun when the act of Dumbassery involves a dumbass call to 9-1-1!
Especially when the call to 9-1-1 is for SEX!
|Not a Female Cop in Sight|
We here at Dumbass News pride ourselves in bringing you the best 9-1-1 Dumbassery to be found anywhere in the world. I think we have proven that with such outstanding 9-1-1 Dumbassery as the guy who call the emergency service to have some beer delivered. While I agree that being out of beer is indeed an emergency, 9-1-1 worthy it ain’t. We have even featured a story where a 9-1-1 “health emergency” call lead to cops discovering 124 pot plants from where the call was placed. excellent Dumbassery indeed. Then there’s the tale of a Dumbass who dialed 9-1-1 so the cops would come over and he would kick their asses. This did not work out well for the Dumbass.
You’ll notice one very important topic missing from our roster of Dumbass 9-1-1 Call List. Care to venture a guess? Yes! S-E-X!
I haven’t been layin’ down on the job, it wasn’t until I checked my email today that I finally got a story with a 9-1-1/Sex angle to it. And being ever-vigilant for such material, the minute my eagle eye spotted it, I loaded up the blogging tools and hit the keyboard running.
Hopin’ for Humpin’
There’s a horny Dumbass down in Tampa. of course that description could cover 80% of the Tampa area population, but this horny Dumbass wanted some lovin’ so bad, he dialed 9-1-1 for it! Not once. Not twice. Not even three times. But this Dumbass punched up a 6-3-7-7! That’s seven times 9-1-1!.
Now while an occasional call to Emergency Service for a blow job or some phone sex might be OK in some places around the country, in the F-L-A this is a large uh-uh. Nein nein. Nyet nyet. Non non. For the Yoopers in the Dumbass Horde, all the previous double words represent the word “no” in three, count ’em three foreign languages. Who says that Dumbass News ain’t got no class? there’s that word again. No.
Anyway, the Dumbass in Tampa, no relation to the Dumbass Protesters at the Republican Convention, hit up the Hillsborough County 9-1-1 folks seven times asking them to send over a female police officer so he could be handcuffed to play “Prison Bitch”. Or something like that.
It goes without saying that the operators at 9-1-1 faled to see the humor or the unbridled hormonal rage the Dumbass was engaging in. So after the seventh time he called looking for female cop nooky, he was arrested for abusing the emergency system. Busted by big hairy 100% Male Police Officers.
No word on whether or not he solicited the Guy Cops or not.
I doubt it though. Because he’s not a homo, he’s a …